How To Find a Missing Earring in 31 Minutes or Less

For St. Patty’s Day, Moxy, Lean, Ms. K, and I hung out downtown at Lockerbie Pub. Moxy’s buddy Alex joined the fun too. We all gulped moonshine, watched IU get whooped, and made friends with a guy named Nyle (no S!) Lean and I may or may not have also sat in her hoopty beltin’ our hearts out to the Indigo Girls for a few brief moments. (Could we be any cooler??) We left around midnight (to work on our knitting) while Moxy, Ms. K, and Alex lingered for awhile.

After Lean dropped me off, I realized I was missing an earring (barely seen here, here, and here). They’re my favorites so I was determined to retrieve the AWOL bauble. After dashing into the nearest phone both and slipping on my unitard and cape, I set off a series of text messages that would rock the city – such synchronicity, prowess, and ingenuity Indianapolis has never seen. My team of well-trained associates secured the missing item faster than Lean can fish a diaphragm from her purse in the shady back row of a darkened theatre. Behold, The Great St. Patty’s Day Earring Caper of 2007:

  • 12:13 a.m. from me to Lean: Earring missing. N ur car?
  • 12:20 a.m. from Lean to me: Does it look like an aquafina bottle? don’t see it now but will look in the morning.
  • 12:20 a.m. from me to Lean: Thank u. My faves.
  • 12:22 a.m. from me to Moxy: U still there? C my earring?
  • 12:24 a.m. from me to Lean: Can u txt me Ms. K’s #? Gonna c if she can find earring
  • 12:38 a.m. from Lean to me: ###-#### 
  • 12:40 a.m. from me to Ms. K: Hey! It’s Mymsie. Lost 1 silver earring. U c it around there anywhere?
  • 12:44 a.m. from Ms. K to me: Got it! giv 2 lean. u’r n my phone now.
  • 12:45 a.m. from me to Ms. K: OMG thank u! They’re my faves! Yay!
  • 12:47 a.m. from me to Lean: ta! Kathy found it!
  • 12:57 a.m. from Moxy to me: On way home. Dang! They were cute. I will c if alx still there.
  • 12:58 a.m. from me to Moxy: Ms. K found it! 
  • 12:59 a.m. from Moxy to me: Cool!

Alex, Moxy, & me

In the words of Ms. Barrymore, “…and that’s kickin’ your ass!”

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18 Responses to “How To Find a Missing Earring in 31 Minutes or Less”

  1. jenasia Says:

    i lost my earings an it was my birthday present from my mom and i loved them to death please what do i do?

  2. carol emmitt Says:

    I have lost one of my favorite earrings. It has a B inside a circle, sterling with gold surrounding a small stone, huggy typy from Italy. #925 is inside.

  3. angel Says:

    my mom wont let me do anything except look around for my lost earrings!!!!
    AAAAArgh! :(

  4. katy Says:

    no im grounded for losing my favorite silver diamond earing :(

  5. vic Says:

    losing a pari of 10000$ eaarings not good

  6. lanenaloca Says:

    well who knew people waste so much money on a pair of earrings..my daughter just lost her earrings i found the clip but no earring.Where should i look?

  7. Julienne Says:

    my 1 pair of earrings iss lost i am crying all day what shoukd i do i cannot forgive my self if that earrings were taken away from me

  8. banana1998 Says:

    I got a pair of real gold earrings for Christmas. I wore them to my uncle’s house the next day and they were hurting my ears so I took them out and put them in my phone case. I went home and checked that they were still there. Then the next day, I checked that they were there and the next. Then one day, I went to check that they were there and I only had one of them. How in the he-double hockey sticks does one get lost and the other doesn’t? I didn’t even move my phone case, it was in the same spot the whole time! So now I have ONE REAL GOLD EARRING and the other is missing. It could be anywhere! I feel sick to my stomach because they were my favorite pair and I lost them one day after I got them :’(

  9. nikole Says:

    Oh my gosh! i know this doesnt sound bad at all, but i list the pair of silver earrings my brother got me! I don’t know where to look. Ive been to sevral doffrent places since then. Those earrings really mean alot to me!

  10. Holly Says:

    i miss my earrings piece so much i want it back NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

  11. Elizabeth Says:

    I just lost one of my gold teddy bear earrings while sleeping. I usually find them but I can’t find them this time. I have searched everywhere!

  12. willow Says:

    I just took my first pair of earrings off and my mom said not to lose them. Well, I put another pair on and now I can’t find them. I looked every where, but no luck. MY MOM IS GOIN TO KILL ME IF I CAN’T FIN THEM IN TWO DAYS!!!! :( NOOOOO!!!!!

  13. Jasmine Says:

    Please. I lost my moms really important earring. And I looked seriously everywhere. I even downloaded a app to help me but it didn’t work. If I don’t find it by tommorow afternoon Iike at 6:00pm I get my phone token away AGAIN. Please Hellllppppp! I only have 1 earring and the other one is missing

  14. rgfvgdy Says:

    i cant find my earings!and if i dont find them soon the holes will close.

  15. MalaysianGirl Says:

    oh God… i’ve lost the backs to my gold earrings.. i don’t usually wear the backs because my ear lobe’s too thick and wearing them causes them to swell up and get all disgusting.. it’s been weeks… :( do you think the goldsmith sells them( the backs ) ?

  16. nisha Says:

    oh god i have lost my two pairs of gold ears rings in home . i looked serciously in everywhere. i miss very much my ears ring

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