Emergency Preparedness

Ern’s boss, whom we’ll call “Beavis,” is not in the office. A tornado drill has been scheduled, so Ern has to play the roll of Emergency Weather Warden in his absence. I happen to have the week off before I start my new job, so we’re chatting online, me from my living room at home and Ern from work. Here, Ern and I discuss her important and official appointment:

  • Mymsie: Guess what’s on??
  • Ern: Golden Girls
  • Ern: Tornado drill in 20 minutes. I have to put on the fancy orange vest soon.
  • Mymsie: WEooo!
  • Ern: was I right?
  • Mymsie: Will you go outside? You should lead everyone to McDonald’s to get you breaky
  • Mymsie: Yes! It’s never on anymore because of the stinky new sitcoms they play
  • Ern: into the bathrooms. Yoiu don’t go outside for a tornado drill. You will die!
  • Mymsie: 😀
  • Mymsie: I’m good at drill.
  • Ern: You are!
  • Ern: In case of fire hide under a wooden desk
  • Mymsie: Come on everyone, it’s lightening! Let’s take coat hangers outside and stand in a field!
  • Ern: 😀
  • Mymsie: What’s the official title? Weather Mistress?
  • Ern: Emergency something something Warden
  • Ern: I’m going to make a badge
  • Mymsie: Bill was that for us at my old job. He got a neat vest too and a fun light wand.
  • Ern: Awww. I don’t have a light wand. 😦
  • Ern: Luckily I’m not normally the warden
  • Mymsie: It’s a big responsibility
  • Mymsie: So if Beavis was performing his normal duty, would everone go into the Men’s terlet? If it’s you, does everyone go into the women’s terlet?
  • Ern: Ha, ha. I didn’t think about it. I think you go into the appropriate terlet
  • Ern: I’m scared. The alarm will be loud and hurt my ears.
  • Mymsie: You should wear earmuffs.

Now you have a better understanding of why our Mensa applications were turned down.


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