Serenity Now!

I’m a details person. When I see a task, I generally visualize it in terms of its many components and the components of those components. This is both a blessing and a curse. I sometimes get overwhelmed when I have a lot to do. The amalgam of tasks seems so daunting, I fret about where or how to begin and end up not accomplishing anything. I do better in more structured situations. I don’t mean over-the-top, Nazi rigidity, but a sense of the whole, maybe some deadlines, and a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel.

At work, I’m supposed to be researching search engine optimization and features of other successful eRetailers’ Web sites. I’m also supposed to get oriented with our current system, figure out what it can do, and determine if it suits our growing needs. My boss is very hands-off, which I’m grateful for, but the abstract nature of my tasks makes them feel unruly. Also I haven’t been doing much coding lately, and I miss its precise, finite nature. I’ve been coasting since I returned from my conference. Yesterday, my boss gave me a firm deadline, which definitely helps matters. I have about a week to wrap up my research and present something thoughtful and compelling to him. Because I’ve been an overwhelmed space cadet, I’m going to have to work like crazy to put something decent together.

I’m feeling the same sort of frenzy at home. I have so much to do. I need to clean, purge, organize, and sort, among other things. A lot is due to the fact that I’ve been on the go the last few years, just trying to make ends meet. Thankfully, several areas of my life have improved, but there is so much fallout, I don’t know where I begin. I’ve tried breaking things into smaller tasks, but I’ve been unsuccessful these last few weeks.

In the back of my mind, there are other things I’m processing as well, such as law school. I’m trying to focus on my health first and then I’ll address other major life changes. Unfortunately, knowing that doesn’t necessarily keep me from fretting and wondering about my future.

Another concern is my freelance Web development. I haven’t even started it and it’s almost July. I need to e-mail my contact and give her an update, but I’d like to have something accomplished before I do.

I had also hoped to raise enough money to volunteer for this kids’ camp in the Balkans this summer, but with everything else, it hasn’t been possible. I know my health is most important but dammit, I want to go! And I will…just maybe not this summer.

As you can see, I’ve got several plates spinning. A deluge of to-dos + my detailed nature = a demoralized, discouraged, and underproductive Mymsie. Must remember to take baby steps. Any other suggestions?

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One Response to “Serenity Now!”

  1. haha Says:

    you got issues…get out more

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