Red Tape

UGH! I’ve just spent the last hour on the horn listening to Sallie Mae’s sad hold music and useless messages. I had a student loan through them, which was recently paid off by my loan consolidator. Unfortunately, they underpaid by $98. Sallie Mae said they sent the consolidator a notice of underpayment. The consolidator said they never received anything. Last week when I tried to sort this out, I got transferred 100 times and finally, hung up on. I tried again today, and finally got to speak to a person. She said Sallie Mae will resubmit the underpayment notice. Hopefully, that will take care of things. Once I wrap up a few more consolidation odds and ends, I’m having gender reassignment surgery and fleeing to Guadalajara.

Cut Red TapeAfter Sallie Mae, I had to call my old insurance company, Anthem. I went to the doctor last August for a yearly checkup, but got a big bill from them saying Anthem didn’t pay. I spoke with someone at the doctor’s office who said they submitted a claim to Anthem. Naturally, Anthem said they never received anything. I called the doctor’s office back to tell them that, and they said I would have to talk to someone in the Big, Important Downtown Office. I called the downtown office and they said they did submit a claim but it was refused. I gave them all the information to resubmit it. Thankfully, even though it was last year, Anthem gives doctors 15 months to make claims.

Another odd note: Anthem has a Noblesville mailing address for me. I’ve never lived in Noblesville. It was my record because the soc and date of birth matched, but somehow my address got changed. BIZARRO.

I don’t want to talk on the phone again for 10 years. I already don’t like it, but dealing with red tape feels akin to slaming my hand in a drawer five times.


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