Note: I seriously debated sharing this post, but in the interest of this blog being an honest look at my life, even the unglamorous bits, I decided to spill the beans.
I sometimes get up in the night and eat. It’s a strange, compulsive behavior. When it happens, I usually don’t realize what’s going on until I’m well into trouble. It started when I was 25 years old. Chris and I had just broken up and I was living alone for the first time. It’s totally anxiety related but fortunately, hasn’t been a major problem. I may do it a few nights and then won’t again for months and months. When it does happen, I try to determine what’s plaguing my devilish brain and how to address it.
And so, I
was mortified and tried to hide forgot to mention an embarrassing event that occurred right before B came to visit. A few days earlier, I happened to read an article touting the potential benefits of Dannon’s new Light & Fit Crave Control Yogurt. It contains a good deal more fiber and protein than most yogurt, which Dannon claims will help satisfy your hunger. In my steadfast quest to properly manage my eating, I casually tossed a 4-pack of the Vanilla and Cereal flavor into my cart at the grocery store. I didn’t try it for a few days, excited but intimidated by the power it possibly held. Finally one evening before bed, I decided to dive in. I grabbed one of the handy, single-sized servings and steadied my satiety for the impending changes.
I should note that I’m not a big fan of yogurt, but do enjoy it from time to time. One of my main beefs is that it’s too tangy. This quality immediately struck me when I first tasted the Crave Control Yogurt, causing me to wish I’d chosen one of the fruity flavors. It also had a noticeably artificially sweetened flavor, in that sickeningly sweet, taste-not-found-in-nature kind of way, but such is the case for many diet foods. I did enjoy the bits of cereal mixed throughout it, which made for a nice twist and gave the snack more oomph. After I polished off my portion, I waited breathlessly to see if I felt any difference, but nothing stood out, so I eventually went to bed.
The next morning when my alarm went off, I groggily rose and stumbled into the living room. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a lonely spoon and empty cereal bowl on the coffee table. My head sank in shame as the events that had taken place in the wee hours of the morning gradually crept into the forefront of my mind. In the night, I’d gotten up and eaten cereal…like, THREE BOWLS of cereal. And since I didn’t have any milk, I used watered down fat-free half and half. For the love of God – WATERED DOWN FAT-FREE HALF AND HALF. I guess that means the yogurt did not work.
In all seriousness, this embarrassing situation only serves to emphasize that the reasons I overeat are mainly psychological and not physiological. I wasn’t actually hungry and it didn’t matter that I’d eaten fancy yogurt with extra fiber. What mattered was that something was bothering me and I self medicated with a secretive binge in the night, sabotaging all my work and dampening my spirits.
Hey, at least the cereal wasn’t something like Cocoa Puffs. It was Kashi because, you know, I like to watch what I eat. 😀