I met “Juan” online a few years ago. He’s smart, loves dogs, has a good job, and is VERY VERY hot – like brutally, deliciously, take-me-now hot. As soon as we met, there was intense, melty chemistry. We started hanging out and it was fun, but I wanted to take the physical stuff slowly. What can I say? I’m an old fashioned girl. And although he has good qualities, I didn’t think he and I were long-term material. In some ways we are compatible but in other ways, he’s a horny dumbass. Still I was so attracted to him physically, it was difficult to not be a trollop, but I resisted. There were several situations in which I deserved cash prizes for my willpower.
Around the time I met Juan, I also met Russ. Of course Russ and I ended up dating for a year. During that time, Juan sent me instant messages asking if I wanted to hang out or if I had broken up with Russ yet. Because Juan and I had made out and redefined heavy petting, I felt it would be inappropriate to hang out with him while Russ and I were dating. I told him this and he was understanding. We still chatted online every once in awhile.
Pretty soon after I broke up with Russ, I heard from Juan. He wanted to get together to play Scrabble, so we planned an evening o’ fun. When he walked in the door, I literally got weak in the knees. He is SO gorgeous – he has broad, strong shoulders, a very sweet face, sexy legs, and a cutie booty. (Poet!) On top of that, he smells amazing and oozes confidence. *rawr* Needless to say, the sparks were still flyin’. We had some cocktails, played Scrabble, and eventually did a little smooching. I hadn’t seen him in awhile and needed to build up some trust so I kept things on the PG tip. Eventually he left in what I thought was a bit of a huff. I called him on it the next day. He was pissed, denied it, and after that, we didn’t talk for a few months.
Fast forward to September 2006. I’m working on better-Mymsie/health stuff, so I’m not actively seeking to date for the time being. Of course if I met an amazing boy, that would be awesome but I’m not purposefully pimpin’. That way my focus will remain on what’s most important. I do miss hanging out with a guy though. It’s fun and flirty and the attention is nice. So I messaged Juan and we started chatting again. I specifically told him, “I’m not dating right now, but if you wanna hang out and watch a movie or get your ass whooped at Scrabble, let me know.” Within a few days, we made rough plans to hang out, which we did last night. Our brains were tired because we’re old and sad, so we decided Scrabble was too much work. Instead we watched Touching the Void (which is one of my all time favorite documentaries and we’re not speaking until you’ve seen it.) After the movie, we turned the TV off and chatted for awhile. I explained to him why I thought he was pouting when we’d hung out months before. He said he totally was not and was kind of mad I thought that. He pointed out that I hadn’t tried to talk to him since then either, which is true. Then he said he could be patient and was very respectful. And we may have kissed a little. Oops. I said to him on the spot, “I would like to hang out and feel more comfortable but I know I’m sending mixed signals so if you can’t deal or don’t wanna hang out, I totally understand.” He replied, “We can hang out.” Then there was snuggling and this pesky inner dialogue:
Angel Mymsie: Ah ah ah! Even though you’re attracted to this guy, you know it probably won’t turn into a serious relationship. Do you want to go there?
Devil Mymsie: Um, who cares? He’s hot! Besides, I’m not even dating right now.
Angel Mymsie: But I know you! You’re a sensitive girl – it won’t be so cut and dried.
Devil Mymsie: But…but…have you seen his shoulders? Do you see how sexy he is? DO YOU SEE?!?!
We may never hang out again, which wouldn’t be the end of the world. And I’m completely fine with just being friends; that’s what I envisioned to begin with. I am curious, dear reader, what you think. I would love it if you shared some honest comments.
*Name that band!