Do I Sound Defensive?

I may or may not have popped into Target last night to grab a few groceries but left with an $80+ bill and purchases including funky stationary, kitschy stickers, cozy socks, and lovely ceramic Asian bowls. Damn Super Target and damn their clearance items and that enticing Dollar Spot section!

It’s just that everything I got was on sale. Each pair of socks was only 74 cents. SEVENTY-FOUR CENTS! Who wouldn’t buy a pair of stylish, seventy-four cent socks? What, you only wear tube socks and panty hose? Well it’s time to broaden your horizons. I’ll admit I had to dig through some ridiculous-looking knee socks, but it wasn’t long before I found some good ones – several pairs of simple white socks with a very subtle white print and a cute, super-soft peach pair with a fun, argyle design. Are you some kind of anti-argyle pervert? “Oh I’m Mymsie’s blog reader and I hate argyle! Roooooaaaarrr! I eat babies and I don’t share my toys!” FREAK!

And what kind of Japanophile would I be if I casually strolled past perfectly divine, Asian style, wide-mouth soup bowls on sale for two dollars? TWO DOLLARS! I can use them for parties or flowers or on tables or in my bathroom. So pretty! What kind of sick person wouldn’t buy them? SICK!!

If you could only see the stationary and stickers, you would understand and I know you’d thank me. You’d probably actually need some stationary to send me a thank you note. Each pack of four cards was only $1. ONE DOLLAR! The cards boast the sweetest retro designs and the stickers have matching designs and fun sayings. Are you some kind of asshole who doesn’t say fun things? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

I think it’s pretty clear who has the problem.

*Completely unrelated link

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One Response to “Do I Sound Defensive?”

  1. PastaQueen Says:

    Did you go to the Target on 86th street? If so, you should be happy you didn’t get shot. Buying too much stuff seems a much better fate.

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