Let’s Ride

A few weeks ago, I dropped off the Goose to be repaired from my deer accident. In its awesome, honky stead, I’ve been saddled with a hideous, evil beast of the Ford variety. It’s a garguntic, tan Taurus, with Massachusetts license plates and a stained back seat. (Eww) Despite these flaws, it’s LOADS better than the first Taurus I was provided with, which smelled like death, covered in burnt hair.

In the days after I was burdened with the Taurus, I decided to call it “the cliTaurus,” for a number of silly reasons, including the fact that it irritates me when people pronounce “clitoris” in that nuevo-riche fashion. The “joy” of driving her has inspired a multitude of unexpected statements, including the following: 

  • “Of all the cliTaurus’s in Indy, why is it that mine smells like ass??”
  • “Fuckin’ hell – this thing is huge!”
  • “Again, the way you turn the lights on in a cliTaurus is different from the way you turn them on in a Honda. Judge Wapner at 5 p.m.”
  • “Get that heap off the road unless you’re prepared to face my cliTaurus!”

A big thanks to Hertz, without which all of this merriment would not be possible. 😉

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One Response to “Let’s Ride”

  1. Read More Here Says:

    Read More Here

    Let’s Ride | Distracted by Something Shiny

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