Send It In a Letter Baby, Tell You On the Phone

The Word of the Day for February 13 is:

billet-doux \ bill-ee-DOO\ noun: a love letter

Example sentence: Poor George spent hours laboring over a billet-doux, only to have his girlfriend toss it aside and demand, “Where are my roses?”

Awww, sweet Word of the Day, isn’t it? I want to receive a flowery billet-doux. Tomorrow should be an interesting Valentine’s Day. Here in Indy we have 6+ inches of snow and it’s still falling like crazy. It’s been alternating between sleet and snow for awhile now so everything is as slick as glass! My boss called this morning at 6:30 a.m. to tell me work is closed today. I’ve never been more ecstatic, especially since I’m sick. Turns out I have some sort of yucky virus. The doc gave me a prescription for Zyrtec and told me to buy Mucinex, saline nasal spray, and a humidifier. My Mom has suggested before that I get a vaporizer but the doctor said that would put too much water into the air and cause mold. Sounded pretty sketchy to me because my Mom’s advice is generally very precise and reliable. My Dad and I went all over town trying to find a humidifier but most stores were out of them or only had very expensive ones. My Mom said if I get a vaporizer and monitor it, I won’t have any problems. Mom definitely overrules the doctor! In the meantime, my Dad has kept water boiling on the stove all day long and it’s helped tremendously. Plus I love how old school it is. I’ll be darning socks and churning butter for the rest of day.

Sidebar: Yes, I’m 30-years-old and still rely heavily on my Mom’s advice and knowledge. I’m worried there’s so much she knows that I don’t but should, especially in order to pass it on to my spawn (if I’m ever fortunate enough to have ’em.) I can’t hem pants (but I do have a sewing machine now) and I don’t feel confident in my abilities to make a last-minute, snazzy costume from only silver thread and Ziploc baggies, at least in the fantastic way I’m sure my Mom could. It’s also important to me to somehow preserve all of my parents’ great stories. Just the other day, my Dad mentioned that when he and my Mom first got married, their monthly rent cost $35. How incredible is that?? I need to start documenting this stuff!

After a few hours of sleeping, blowing my nose, and sucking down fluids, I was ready to get out of the house, so my Dad and I ventured out. The walk to the car was pretty bad, as none of the sidewalks have been shoveled. We brushed the heaped snow off my car windows and waited about 10 minutes for the Goose to warm up. Fortunately, Panera is right across the road from my apartment, so we slid over and scurried inside as quickly as possible. Since then, we’ve been alternating between yappin’, eating baked goods, drinking coffee, and downloading porn via the free wireless connection. Ah, the good life…

Yesterday, I asked the doc to look at the lingering bump on my head – you know the leftover mar from the fancy hematoma I acquired in The Great Car Accident of December 2005? She said sometimes when people take a rough jar to the head, the shape of the bone changes and that’s why I still have a bump. I’m a little doubtful, as she barely touched it but she did have me get some x-rays to check out the situation. Hopefully everything is OK. If it is, I suppose I’ll have to conjure up a new excuse for my silly outbursts and chronic forgetfulness.

I’m heading to Petsmart soon. For the last few years, I’ve fed Abby Hill’s Science Diet but she has a sensitive tummy and when she gets sick, leaves HELLACIOUS orange stains on the carpet from the dye in her food. Several people suggested I try Iams, which apparently is dye free (?), so I’m getting some today. I hope she handles the transition well. For the record, I have tried every carpet cleaner known to man, including OxiClean and that Nature’s Miracle bullshit, all to no avail. The best solution I’ve found is warm water, dish soap, and tons of elbow grease, which helps but has never completely eliminated any stain. Thoughts?

P.S. Among lots of other exciting purchases which I’ll explain later, I forgot to tell you about the cutie purse I got. I’ve been stalking it for awhile, waiting for it to go on sale ($35 down to $19.99) and then waiting for a free-shipping offer.  I love the embroidered, purple birds – kitschy and fun!


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