I Really Do Have a Laminator

B: TMZ has confirmed that lawyers for Anna Nicole Smith’s mother, Virgie Arthur, have filed a petition in a Bahamas court, essentially trying to stop the funeral before Anna’s body is buried. Currently, the hearse carrying Anna’s body has come to a stop, just yards from the church where the funeral is set to take place.

Me: STFU!

Me: This is [a] mortification

B: I haven’t h[e]a[r]d th[i]si much since OJ and Clin[ton]‘s impeachment.

B: *Cli[n]ton’s

Me: It’s ridiculous. SO american

B: I don’t understand what the mother has to gain with a TX burial.

B: maybe she’s being paid by tabloids to do [a]ll of this

Me: I don’t get it either. When someone tells you your dead daughter’s body is decaying, it’s time to step off, yo!

B: Th[a]ta‘s always been my policy.

Me: I had it printed on a card and then laminated it.

B: I did the same…

B: and inse[r]t them into people’s b-day cards

Me: Who doesn’t want a sweet, heart-warming note like that stuffed tidily in their wallet at all times??

B: Exactly.

B: We need to get on this.

Me: You know I have my own laminator, right? That’s just a glimpse at the kind of craft power I have.

B: the world must know the protocol [to follow] that must ensure when a son/daughter dies

B: I also have a button maker.

Me: Nuh uh??

B: totes seery

B: I got it for my whole ‘Get Stung by the B’ campaign

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