A Regular Laugh Riot

I taught a Dreamweaver workshop this morning, which went very well. It’s a more advanced class in the series so we get to do fun exercises and the students know enough to have clever, thoughtful questions. I’m particularly smitten with a very sweet guy who’s been to all my Dreamweaver workshops and always sits right up front. He’s eager to learn and he laughs at my lame jokes. That’s pretty much a dream student!

After class, I got caught up with e-mail and then headed home, intent to work more on the eleventy million projects I need to finish in my apartment. In my usual fashion, I made a long list detailing everything I need to do, right down to eliminating particular cobwebs that have been plaging me. Despite that earnest attempt, I ended up having a bit of meltdown instead of cleaning. I’m not sure if I’m ready to spill all the details to the public – baring your soul is scary! The end result is that my Dad is staying in town a bit longer and I could not be more grateful. It’s been wonderful having him here. He’s helped me so much. Since my ‘rents have been far away for awhile, it feels like a treat to have one closeby to help me through a rough time.

It’s also been a very healing time for my Dad and me. The last time we spent such intensive time together was when I was in high school and he was very, very ill. He’s bipolar and a rapid cycler, meaning he can vacilate between mania and depression sometimes in mere minutes. At the time, his medication was totally out of whack. His condition was worse than it’s ever been. My Mom was working furiously on her PhD so I ended up taking care of my Dad full time. It was extremely difficult and painful but mainly I’ve addresed that and don’t feel angry. Being with him these last few weeks has really magnified to me how ill he was before because he’s so vastly different now. We’ve talked about a few things, some of which my Dad doesn’t even remember. At one point, he was afraid to work in his office at the church because he thought there were birds in the building who would peck his eyes out. 😦

The most humbling element of all of this is that I’ve been forced to ask for help, which I have a very difficult time doing. Lean is always begging me to work on that – it’s obvious to close friends when you’re in pain. Unfortunately I tend to fret too much about putting others out or making an unnecessary fuss. Now all the yucky feelings have gotten so bad I’ve been forced to build a bridge and say, “I need help.” But don’t worry – I’ll make sure things around here don’t get too blue. Thank God I have all the seasons of The Golden Girls on DVD now!


One Response to “A Regular Laugh Riot”

  1. Amelia Says:

    I grew up with a bipolar dad, too. You have my sympathy. I’m glad he’s doing better now, and I’m glad he can help you now.

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