Descriptions of the Coffee at Work

  • Burnt
  • Unsympathetic
  • Riot-inducing
  • Dead
  • Totally unworthy of donut dunking
  • Not improved with cream or sugar
  • Not more palatable if consumed while holding your nose
  • Not more palatable if consumed while holding someone else’s nose
  • Capable of ruining any breakfast
  • Not made from a plant found in nature
  • Coldly sucking my will to live
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