Life In A Small Town

My Mom is a professor at a college in a relatively small town. Skimming through the local newspaper, she happened upon a humorous edition of the Police Blotter, which perfectly tells the story of life in Smallville, USA:

  • 9:32 a.m. Upon officer entry into the residence at [Smallville] Trailer Court it was observed there were four subjects inside, three adults and one juvenile. Toilet in house was broken, subjects were using a five-gallon bucket inside the house as their toilet. Shower was full. Of what?
  • 10:04 a.m. Caller from the 300 block of [Main] St. advised he has gotten on Swap Shop several times now and has noticed one individual who is selling a lot of cell phones and household goods. Caller stated he thinks it’s odd. Legitimate watchdog or scorned lover?
  • 2:57 p.m. Caller from [State] St. and [Eighth] Ave. advised she thought she saw a skunk near the above location acting strange. Caller stated the skunk was stumbling around. Probably a terrorist skunk
  • 9:34 p.m. Caller from the 800 block of [Oak] St. advised that the two Home Health vehicles and a mini van had what looked like gang stuff drawn in the dirt on them. Caller requesting an officer look at them. The devious markings undoubtedly turned out to be kitty paw prints.
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2 Responses to “Life In A Small Town”

  1. PastaQueen Says:

    Kitty gangbangers are the worst kind.

    It’s so odd reading this entry because my friend in DC who used to live in a small Kentucky town frequently posts weird stuff from her old town’s police blotter. It’s like a humor column all unto itself.

  2. Amelia Says:

    Not Athens, Ohio is it? I grew up there and oh boy does that sound familiar. 🙂

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