Frigga played a round of Would You Rather for her Thursday Thirteen last week. It’s such a rad idea I decided to try it this week with an extra twist. I’ve asked Maxine Dangerous thirteen Would You Rather questions and she’s asked me thirteen as well. We must answer each question and death is not an option.
And now for the questions she asked me and my answers. Would you rather…
- …drive naked to work during rush hour or roller skate topless down a busy city street?
- I love to roller skate but modesty wins out here. True, if all the traffic is moving slowly, other drivers could peek into the Goose and see my bits but I think I could slouch and contort enough to maintain a modicum of dignity.
- …eat bull testicles on Fear Factor or goat penis on Survivor?
- I’d hoped to live a long, fulfilling life free of goat and bull genitalia but since I have to pick, I’ll go with the goat pee pee on Survivor because at least I’d get to travel to a cool, exotic location. (Please God don’t let my season be Survivor: Utah.)
- (You’re desperate for cash.) …someone accidentally drop their cash-filled wallet ahead of you in a store or do something morally repugnant (to you) for extra money, knowing there will be witnesses at both events?
- Definitely the wallet option. I think being “desperate for cash” makes my thievery a little less heinous (moral relativism!) and I’d make a point to spend the money on necessities rather than smokes and lottery tickets.
- …be a fugitive constantly on the run or a highly-disliked celebrity often in the public eye?
- I’ve thought about how stressful and overwhelming it must be for Brit and Paris but I’d rather live that life than make like Harrison Ford in The Fugitive. I have no desire to grow a beard or run a lot.
- …be a featured columnist for a magazine about fly-fishing or ice-fishing?
- Fly fishing. If I have to write about an obscure sport, I’d rather it be a warm weather one.
- …live in a tent or a mobile home for the next year?
- This is a good one because I enjoy the outdoors but am definitely not an Eco-Challenge kind of girl. Conversely the mere suggestion of trailer livin’ makes me shudder. I think I’d go for the trailer and totally rebuff everyone’s notions of mobile home folk. WE’RE PEOPLE TOO!
- …be a co-star of someone on Xena: Warrior Princess or Battlestar Galactica?
- I’ve never seen BG. (I think Ern likes it?) The snippets I’ve seen of Xena are so ridiculous and satirical, I’d choose it for my cameo. Might be fun! I’d insist my character wear a fancy dress of tropical blooms and flitter about, lazily plucking ripe fruits from overflowing baskets carried by oiled menservants. Wait, what was the question?
- …smooch on Sean Connery or Paul Newman?
- You don’t know this about me but I ♥ Sean Connery. LOVE. It would be a little odd to lock lips with an oldie but I’d just close my eyes, enjoy his accent, and picture James Bond on the beach in Dr. No. (P.S. The soundtrack from that movie ROCKS!)
- …sell, by phone, insurance or flooring?
- Flooring seems less depressing.
- …work a low-level position at Long John Silver’s or Red Lobster?
- I think I’d parlay “the seafood lover” in me.
- …be a bamboo plant or a eucalyptus tree?
- Bamboo – it’s so incredible and interesting. It’s strong, has tons of uses, and I love that you can train it to grow in certain ways. The good luck associated with it is enchanting and don’t forget that cutie pandas eat it too.
- …confront strangers about their smoking habits or wear, in public, a shirt with a swastika on the front?
- I’ll confront the smokers. I recognize that in a way I’d be infringing on their rights. I’m sure it would be awkward but I want absolutely nothing to do with swastikas.
- …clean up a crime scene or an operating room?
- Operating room without a doubt. All that CSI jazz scares the hell out of me and makes me so uncomfortable and disconcerted about the world. Puppies, kittens, candy. Puppies, kittens, candy…
Fun! You’re welcome to answer either set of questions. Just leave a link in the comments.