Don’t Expect a Good Reference

During an afternoon slump, I chatted online with Maxine, who works for her Dad:

  • Maxine: i don’t want to do any work
  • Me: me either
  • Me: but you’re lucky ’cause you can’t get fired!
  • Maxine: well…
  • Maxine: technically i could
  • Maxine: need to think of something for thursday 13
  • Me: 13 bad ways to get fired and #1 can be “by your boss, who also happens to be your Dad!”

Maxy wasn’t impressed so I decided to take the ball and run. And so I present 13 nasty ways to get fired:

  1. 13You were still wearing your EPA employee badge when your neighbor spotted you burning tires in your backyard.
  2. The janitor couldn’t forgive you for staining the new carpet in the conference room when your water broke.
  3. After months of leave due to back surgery, you returned to work but inspired by your newfound limberness were busted making photo copies of your booty.
  4. After months of leave due to back surgery, you returned to work but inspired by your newfound limberness were busted making photo copies of your assistant’s booty.
  5. After twenty-five years of service to a state unemployment agency, you were let go.
  6. Frustrated from running out of tape, index cards, and staples at home, your boss confronted you about all the office supplies you’d been stealing.
  7. Your shifts at the casino conflicted with the new time of your Gamblers Anonymous meeting.
  8. You made a student cry during one of the classes you taught at a local clown school.
  9. Deathly ill from E. Coli poisoning, you called in sick too much the summer you lifeguarded at a local lake. 
  10. During training on taking orders, you asked the head waitress at Olive Garden how to spell “enchilada.”
  11. While interning at a daycare, you were overheard bribing a 4-year-old not to tell on you for eating paste.
  12. After a fellow doctor developed a rash from a latex allergy, you sagely offered “That’s why I never wear gloves!”
  13. A coworker at Social Services saw your son picking you up in a rickshaw.

15 Responses to “Don’t Expect a Good Reference”

  1. Chris Says:

    #7 made me laugh outloud and seems like something that would happen to me… Thanks for visiting my blog, happy TT!

  2. Elle Fredrix Says:

    Those were great. My fave was 11!

    Thanks for stopping by my TT.

  3. Amelia Says:

    Well, I want to get fired in none of those ways, so I have to concur, LOL.

    BTW–clowns? *shudder*

  4. Toni Says:

    I once wanted to get fired, took 2 whole months of screwing up! Couldn’t believe the crap they put up with! Good list!

    Being An Air Force Wife

  5. That Blue Girl Says:

    Ha! I think my favorite was #2. Thanks for visiting my list. I also liked your original #1 idea.

  6. Jensen Says:

    Oops-you visited meand my 13 at blogspot. Not wordpress. Sorry.

  7. Furry Logic Says:

    Thank you for visiting our blog!

    We liked your list. We cats can’t be fired from anything since we don’t do anything but be cats. Our Mother calls us Professional Cats.

    Our Mother liked #12 especially! LOL! #10 applies around here since we live in New Mexico!

  8. Raggedy Says:

    Good list..You must have really liked number 3 since you had to repeat the offense for number 4 on another job…lol…
    I enjoyed the ways to get fired…Thank you for the laughs…
    Mine is posted too…

  9. Haley-O Says:

    Hee! Funny!!! There are some REALLY GOOD ONES there. Thanks for the laugh!

  10. tommiea Says:

    those were cute! and i really needed a laugh tonight

    thanks for stopping by

  11. Stephanie Says:

    Great list. I’ll have to remember some of those.

  12. Delicious Weekender Says:

    Hilarious! Great list! Will mail it out to my co-workers! Thanks for visiting my page!

  13. Maxine Dangerous Says:

    #12 is my absolute favorite. 😀

  14. Amelia Says:

    You didn’t go to Butler, did you? That popcorn story happened to my friend her freshman year at Butler (but she wasn’t the culprit).

  15. Sophisticated Writer Says:

    These are so funny… Will keep them in mind, you never know 🙂

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