Note: I’m working on the next edition of Courting Perdicament. In the meantime, check out the first episode or share your thoughts on this mini:
While hangin’ with my girls last week, a friend dished on a recent experience. She’d been dating a new guy and one night as they were laying in bed, he said something along the lines of “I don’t want to make love yet.” Apparently he wanted to be certain it wasn’t too soon and would be special. I should note that this fella was raised by his Mom. He’s relatively forward-thinking and in touch with his emotions, especially compared to the average oily bohunk wearin’ a “Go Ugly Early” t-shirt.
My friend tentatively asked if any of our conquests had ever used the term “make love” and a deep, cavernous silence befell the land. So far I’ve been spared dating’s ML-bomb. In truth, I think it might turn me off a little. It just seems SO cheesy. I suppose it could be sweet or maybe sexy under the right circumstances. I think the key is knowing the guy well enough to determine his intent – Is he saying whatever he thinks it will take to get him laid or is he being genuine and trying to avoid any crass rhetoric?
“Make love” is obviously better than “hide the sausage” but I’d instead prefer something less overt. I recognize my fickleness in this matter because yes, I want an evolved man who is sensitive and can talk about what’s up in his noggin BUT I also want a man who can squash a bug for me and wield an axe in an authoritative manner. Such is the duality of the modern female.
Guys – ever asked your lady to “make love?” Are you irritated by the fragile boundaries between what you can and can’t say to women?
Ladies – are you lovin’ or loathin’ this quaint euphamism? Does it fuel your flame or kill the spark? Discuss!
P.S. This mini was brought to you by episode 11 of Sex & the City’s second season.
P.P.S. For the record, I think wanting to wait a bit before having sex is refreshing, noble, and perfectly OK.
Edited to add: Got a predicament of your own? E-mail me at courtingpredicament [AT] gmail [DOT] com. I promise to protect your anonymity.