Perdica-Mini: Feel Like Makin’ Love

Note: I’m working on the next edition of Courting Perdicament. In the meantime, check out the first episode or share your thoughts on this mini:

While hangin’ with my girls last week, a friend dished on a recent experience. She’d been dating a new guy and one night as they were laying in bed, he said something along the lines of “I don’t want to make love yet.” Apparently he wanted to be certain it wasn’t too soon and would be special. I should note that this fella was raised by his Mom. He’s relatively forward-thinking and in touch with his emotions, especially compared to the average oily bohunk wearin’ a “Go Ugly Early” t-shirt.

My friend tentatively asked if any of our conquests had ever used the term “make love” and a deep, cavernous silence befell the land. So far I’ve been spared dating’s ML-bomb. In truth, I think it might turn me off a little. It just seems SO cheesy. I suppose it could be sweet or maybe sexy under the right circumstances. I think the key is knowing the guy well enough to determine his intent – Is he saying whatever he thinks it will take to get him laid or is he being genuine and trying to avoid any crass rhetoric?

“Make love” is obviously better than “hide the sausage” but I’d instead prefer something less overt. I recognize my fickleness in this matter because yes, I want an evolved man who is sensitive and can talk about what’s up in his noggin BUT I also want a man who can squash a bug for me and wield an axe in an authoritative manner. Such is the duality of the modern female.

Guys – ever asked your lady to “make love?” Are you irritated by the fragile boundaries between what you can and can’t say to women?

Ladies – are you lovin’ or loathin’ this quaint euphamism? Does it fuel your flame or kill the spark? Discuss!

P.S. This mini was brought to you by episode 11 of Sex & the City’s second season.

P.P.S. For the record, I think wanting to wait a bit before having sex is refreshing, noble, and perfectly OK.

Edited to add: Got a predicament of your own? E-mail me at courtingpredicament [AT] gmail [DOT] com. I promise to protect your anonymity.


6 Responses to “Perdica-Mini: Feel Like Makin’ Love”

  1. Kat with a K Says:

    Mymsie – what a great post! You have me thinking! Just off the cuff – I suppose that if someone I did not know well asked me to “make love” I would be extremely put off. But – if it is someone I am in an established relationship with – to have that person roll over to me in the night and whisper in my ear – “I want to make love to you”, I’d be a melting puddle in the bed! Just off the cuff thoughts – I love your blog!

  2. . . .now with the fellas Says:

    reference another episode of Sex in the City (season 5?). . .

    “he’s just not that into you.”

    if you’re in the hay with your lady the brain pretty much goes to the bone. . . .either the bone ain’t workin or the brain’s a lil off.

    men aren’t that old fashioned. not wanting to “make love yet” is just code for “hang on a minute while I try and figure out what the hell I really want.”

    sad. . .but true

  3. Amelia Says:

    Hubby tells me he wants to “sex me up.” Maybe I’d like “make love” better. I dunno. :p

  4. A-frame Says:

    “ML” is loathesome. If for no other reason, it makes me sing that god-awful song by Foreigner or another such 70s hair band. Makes me want to wash my hands, actually. I guess it’s better than “Wanna f8ck?” But still.

  5. male Says:

    never said that because its to cheezy to sound sincere

  6. mox Says:

    For the record, let me put it in context. We were naked under a big blanket and drinking wine. He was talking about that first time with a new person. Even if it’s awkward and weird and such, it’s the first time and you can never get that back (should the rel’p progress). Like a first kiss with someone. He was excited.

    Also, the bone did, in fact, work. Really well, actually. And twice. *blush*

    Maybe it’s a west coast thing?! He lived there for awhile. I think it depends on the dude. There are some that if they said it, I’d laugh in their face. I did think ‘did he just say…? huh. weird’ but it didn’t bug me that much. maybe because i knew i was about to get laid.

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