How to Win Friends and Influence People

A few minutes ago I strolled into the kitchen at work to heat up my SmartOne. 

Woman #1: “Hey, whatcha got for lunch?”

Woman #2: “Oh, it’s a NutriSystem lunch. I just started. You know how Dan Marino wanted to get down to his game weight? I’m hoping to get back down to my pageant weight. I was in the Ms. Indiana pageant a few years ago.”

Woman #1: “Well how much do you want to lose? You look fine to me.”

Woman #2: “Oh no – you wouldn’t BELIEVE how much I weigh. I weighed 152 this morning!”

Me: “‘scuse me, could I borrow some change for a Snickers? My blood sugar’s gettin’ low, unkay??”

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2 Responses to “How to Win Friends and Influence People”

  1. Maxine Dangerous Says:

    I think my right leg weighs 152 pounds.

  2. Kriss Says:

    You shoulda smacked Mrs. 152 Pounds with your tiara. 😉

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