Today I had to go to a baby shower at work. Well, I guess I didn’t have to attend but I didn’t think the old bloody diarrhea excuse would work, particularly when I could easily be found in my office, headphones firmly in place while perusing craft blogs.
The shower was lovely and sweet and don’t get me wrong – I’m all for babies…but sometimes when you’re single, you just can’t bring yourself to “awww” and coo anymore, especially over scraps of fabric solely intended to bear baby hurl. It doesn’t mean you hate babies or baby-havers or don’t someday want babies of your own. It just means you’re in a different (perhaps frustrated) place, better suited for late nights, Tapas restaurants (there’s a new one in Indy!), and detailed discussions about penis girth.
Thankfully the shower came fully equipped with a delicious cake, piped with shamefully-sweet icing. I can always count on refined sugar to get me out of a bind!
P.S. While we’re on the subject of babies, did you know that I find Celine Dion so irritating, for years now I’ve felt compelled to spread the vicious rumor that she eats her young? And trust me – that slander will go on.