A Ridiculous Mélange of Thoughts Perfectly Suited for Bullets

  • Did you know that “meme” is pronounced “meem?” I’d always assumed it was pronounced like “me + me.” I also didn’t know that it’s a proper pre-Internet word. Foolish me!
  • Pappy was scheduled to have his back surgery yesterday but he has bronchitis, so it was rescheduled for next Tuesday. Hopefully by then he’ll be feeling well enough to have his spine poked and prodded.
  • I forgot to mention that this guy I’ve known for a few months recently said to me, “I’ve always thought you look like Anna Nicole Smith in the face, and I mean that as a compliment.” Thoughts? I’m thinking that when you have to qualify a statement as being positive, it’s not a good thing.
  • I sent this story about a two-headed turtle to my dad and he replied “how unusual. i pray that if i grow an unfortunate appendage that i will not be put on display.”
  • I’ve been working on a new, exciting sewing project and I can’t wait until it’s finished. It’ll probably be on some kind of national Groundbreaking Textiles of the Modern Era museum tour for awhile but I’ll take pictures so you guys can see it too.
  • It’s funny to say “fetishist.”
  • Awhile ago, Lean and I were talking about the notion of positive thinking but that sometimes it feels ridiculous to sit around spouting Pollyanna platitudes. She’s reading a book that suggested you instead say “Wouldn’t it be nice if…” and for some reason, that seems much more realistic and doable to me. Like, “Wouldn’t it be nice if my pants didn’t leave creases in my stomach?”
    • After high school one day, I was hanging out at one of my best friend’s house. I was in the kitchen with her sister and Mom and she came running in saying, “My jeans are so tight they’re leaving marks on my stomach! I can’t believe it – I’ve never seen anything like this!” She was 17-years-old. Her Mom and sister and I looked at each and laughed and laughed. Needless to say, she was and still is rail thin. Hee.
  • This entry from Anne Lamott’s travel blog is lovely. She’s struggling a great deal but finds comfort in a story she reads about an author trudging though a series of stressful events that fortuitously lead to her meeting the Dali Lama.
    • “And he said gently that he believed that when a lot of seemingly meaningless things started going wrong all at once, it was to protect something big and lovely that was trying to get itself born — that, in other words, perhaps it needed for you to be distracted so it could be born perfect.”
    • Isn’t that divine? It gives me so much peace.
  • My favorite recent SPAM: “Turn the garden snake in your pants into a python!” Rawr!
  • In August when I heard the first single from the new Foo Fighters album, I responded with a firm “meh.” Since then, I’ve grown to love it and the whole album, making me ♥ the Foo more than ever. And if you think they’re just about crazy, loud rock and roll, LISTEN MORE CAREFULLY. There are painfully beautiful valleys in the music, so tender I think I might cry. And if you still don’t believe me, listen to this acoustic version of Times Like These or Dave Grohl’s duet with Norah Jones from In Your Honor (ignore the cheesy Harry Pothead montage.) Incredible.
    • Edited to add: I just remembered something. Whenever I get bored of my new CDs, I often return to a mix CD my brother gave me. It’s a compilation of acoustic versions of songs we love and includes Times Like These. When I first started dating Russ, I was listening to that CD one day and without fail, Times Like These moved me, so I wanted to share it with him. When I played it, he totally blew it off and couldn’t have cared less. I knew then that he and I would never last. The same thing happened when Billy Corgan released his solo album after the Pumpkins broke up. I was excited for weeks and weeks and he acted like it was the lamest thing ever. Ugh! Russ = poo! (For the record, I don’t think the guy I’m with has to like the same music as I do, but I’d like him to understand and appreciate what a tremendous, important part of my life it is. And also have a nice chest. THE END.)
  • The lady in the office beside mine is on the horn a lot and I often overhear funny snippets of her convos. The other day she answered a caller’s question with “Yes, the one with the bass on it.” Hmm…
  • I like Calibri a lot. I am a dork.
  • For most of my deodorant-using life I’ve been loyal to Soft & Dri aerosol (and settle down because it most certainly does not contain any CFCs.) Awhile ago someone recommended Dove Ultimate Clear Cool Essentials. As you know, I’m very brand loyal but have recently been unimpressed with my old faithful deod’s performance so I tried the Dove stuff and guess what? I love it! My pits are fresh and stink-free. If you see a woman skipping down the street and sniffin’ herself, it might be me.
    • I heard Justin Timberlake uses some funky rock for deodorant. True story?
  • I used my My Coke Rewards points to get a free subscription to Oprah’s magazine but so far I’m not all that impressed. Each month the magazine cover promises life-changing content but I’ve only found flimsy pieces with bullshitty “You can do it!” undertones and plugs for cool-but-exorbitantly-priced products. It also irritates me that she’s on the cover every month. Lean said it’s a marketing tool but it still bugs me. I’m torn because Oprah has overcome insurmountable odds and done many wonderful things to help people but I’m just not feelin’ her mag.
  • Have you noticed that baby doll tops are all the rage this fall? They’re cute for certain figures but NOT mine. In fact, if a designer were commissioned to create the most unflattering garment for my frame, I’m certain the result would be close to a baby doll shirt. Fooey!
  • P.S. How does the turtle poop?
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4 Responses to “A Ridiculous Mélange of Thoughts Perfectly Suited for Bullets”

  1. westwardbound Says:

    I am totally with you on the Foo Fighters acoustic, the Dove deoderant and the baby doll tops for those of us with hips!

  2. KNH Says:

    Did you notice that the ads that accompanied the turtle story were for ordering turtle meat online??

  3. lisa Says:

    I sent this story about a two-headed turtle to my dad and he replied “how unusual. i pray that if i grow an unfortunate appendage that i will not be put on display.”

    LOL, LOL!!!

    And i’m with ya on the baby doll tops, do we really want to took pregnant and shapeless??

  4. kate1976 Says:

    I heart the foos so much – this new album is just awesome. We saw them on Wednesday and they were just too incredible. hee!

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