My Lovely Lady Lumps

This post isn’t really about my lady lumps but I sure got your attention, huh? Don’t worry – you’ll be rewarded shortly.

In the meantime, you’ll all be relieved to know that the lovely folks at Panera cheerfully offered me a fresh, delicious cup o’ fruit salad in order to right the grievous wrongs the ifSOD hath wrought. That replacement now sits happily in my fridge where it will no doubt remain until its juicy bits conspire to birth a previously unknown strain of penicillin. But it was the principle, dammit! It’s also all the impetus I need to start making my own fruit salad using local produce. Then I won’t have to endure any of my least favorite fruits like honeydew. Not a fan. … Wow, am I still talking about fruit salad?

Speaking of vittle debacles, remember the night not long ago that ended with the unique flourish of pizza in the bushes outside Lean’s apartment? I sent a fearsome e-mail to the owner but later found out he never received it. A friend of Lean’s happened to be in contact with him so we were finally able to tell him what happened. He was floored and mortified and apologized profusely. He also told us that the manager of the store we originally ordered from had already been fired for other heinous infractions. And on top of that he gave us lots of free pizza coupons – woo hoo!

In other news, last night I finally got a new mobile phone. I’d had my old one since 2003. It always worked well (except for that time I dropped it in a pool), but in the last month it started flaking out so I knew its time was waning. The poor thing had a good run but, once modern and now “vintage,” it was ready to move to a farm in the country where it can send messages without fear of roaming charges, never worry that its battery is low, and frolic with other forgotten technologies like VIC-20s, Ataris, and PalmPilots.

And my new phone – oh my new phone! It’s modern and has a color screen and an impressive array of beeps. (Evidently it doesn’t take much to please me.) No longer am I bound by clunky black-and-white graphics and bare-bones functionality. It’s the triumph of hundreds of years of technological development, all culminating in this:

From Mobile Phone

You’re wanting to make out with me, aren’t you?

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3 Responses to “My Lovely Lady Lumps”

  1. Amy Says:

    That pizza story is my favorite!

    I got a new phone a few months ago and it blows the old one out of the water. I also waited until it was nonfunctional after several years. 🙂 What is it with all these ppl who get new phones every 18 months?

  2. PastaQueen Says:

    Cool about the coupons! And those are great sunglasses. I need to go buy lost of sunglasses now that I am all LASIKed and can actually wear them.

  3. Maxine Dangerous Says:

    Tagged you for a meme on my blog, dahlink. 🙂

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