I hereby decree that 2007 is An Asshole – nothing more than a terrible year beguiling us with infrequent bouts of mirth and glee while slyly dealing blow after blow. Nothing has gone right. All plans were for naught as Providence clearly had other designs. Though the road has been bumpy, I’m pleased to say I feel I’ve gained a tremendous amount emotionally and spiritually. Still, it’s fun to think of 2007 as An Asshole, and so it shall be!
And whyfor this recent declaration? Picture it: last Thursday morning, a treacherously slick parking lot at my apartment complex. While trying to find my way safely to my car, I totally biffed it and landed on my left elbow, which gave a gut-wrenching pop as my other appendages fell to the ground in sundry angles. The worst part is that I fell behind a girl who was backing her car out of a parking spot. I was trying to get out of the way and wave her down and finally she saw me but then freaked out because she thought she’d hit me. She was so nice and offered to help but I was praying the earth would swallow me whole, leaving only cute shoes and some Abby-fur behind. Soooo, MedCheck, x-rays, yada yada yada, I bruised the bone and scored a new hematoma to match the one on my head. Also, I get to wear a very fancy sling, which I plan to decorate with puff paints.
In addition to all that shiz, my family continues to be in the midst of turmoil because, you know, 2007 is An Asshole. I did manage, at the behest of the masses, to make a sassy holiday masthead. It’s serving as a reminder of how behind I am on Christmas doings but the upshot is that I got to use “behest” in a sentence.
The weekend ended on a good note on Sunday evening when Lean and I watched Bridget Jones’s Diary while Lean’s aunt made delicious-smelling fudge. I hadn’t seen that movie in awhile and was pleased to remember what a cad Hugh Grant plays and how yummy Colin Firth is.
In summary, 2007 is An Asshole.