Wanted: Heloise-Like Hints

Today I come bearing questions. I’d love to hear your advice and suggestions:

  1. Is there a quick, efficient way to get the stringy bits off of celery? Sometimes I use a vegetable peeler, but that gets messy. I’ve found that I can cut part way through a stalk, pull the cut piece back, and strip off a lot of strings but nothing does the job well. Is there such a thing as a Celery String Remover 5000?
  2. How do you get melted candle wax off clothes? I accidentally spilled some on my shirt at the candle-light service on Christmas Eve.

To make things fair, I’ll share two hints with you:

  1. Rechargeable batteries eventually die and have to be replaced. They’re not infinitely rechargeable! Can you believe it?
  2. A woman who performs fellatio may be referred to as a “fellatrix.” OK, that’s not really a hint but it’s noteworthy nonetheless.
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8 Responses to “Wanted: Heloise-Like Hints”

  1. Kriss Says:

    For the melted candlewax – set your iron on a high heat setting. Put a towel over the spilled wax on your shirt, and iron the towel. The heat from the iron should transfer the wax to the towel. (At least that’s how you get it off your carpeting. I would think it’s the same for clothing.)

    Thanks for the heads up on the fellatrix! I may just change my blog header.

  2. Amy Says:

    I think you can use a hot hair dryer to help melt the wax. David uses a heat gun but it’s basically the same thing.

    Since celery is all strings anyway, can you really remove them? You could just serve in 1-inch pieces so no strings are long. πŸ™‚

    Here’s one: how do you get hard water stains out of the toilet bowl? Stuff like CLR isn’t cutting it.

  3. KNH Says:

    You fools! Freeze the wax, then chip it off. if you melt it, any dye in the wax can permanently stain the cloth.

    Amy, for hard water stains, sprinkle on Bar Keeper’s friend (better yet, make a thick paste of it with water and glop it on). Scrub it off when finished. If you are feeling enviro-friendly, I’ve used a lemon before- it worked- but my commode wasn’t maintained by a bachelor, either. Does that violate your mom’s rule on food in the bathroom?

    I may let my grey hairs grow out and look more Heloise-ish.

  4. Amy Says:

    Oh yeah… forgot about that freezing thing. I just threw out the shirt that had wax on it the only time I had that problem!

    Hey, we have BKF for the sinks. I’ll have to try that! No one wants to buy my house with the dirty-ass toilets (so to speak).

  5. Mymsie Says:

    Thanks for the tips ladies! I’ll try the freezing thing first and if that doesn’t work I’ll try the iron thing. Does it matter that I forgot about the stain and ran my shirt through the wash? I didn’t dry it in the dryer though.

  6. Amy Says:

    How about if you cut out the wax and sew on a cool patch?!

  7. Mymsie Says:

    Good idea! Or I could pin a great big mum over it. The problem is it’s in the tummy area, which traditionally isn’t patch or mum territory. I’ll probably just make it into a halter top. Summer will be here soon! πŸ˜‰

  8. SweetBasta Says:

    Just print the words. “I borrowed this shirt from the fellatrix Monica” Then everyone will understand the stain.

    Just eat the strings from the celery they are good for you. More fiber!

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