This May Get Me a Sponsorship Deal with Palmer’s

Oh-to-the-MY-GOD, have I done something really special. And I know what you’re thinking. You’re all, “Um, don’t you do “special” stuff all the time?” And I do but previous embarrassments can’t compare to this most-recent foozling (Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Day!)

First let me soften the blow of my “incident” by re-directing the attention onto Moxy. She does a cute little thing that goes like this. When she gets a popsicle from the freezer, she doesn’t like to eat it when it’s so cold. Instead she puts it between the cushions of her couch and sits on it until it’s warmed up a little. Now in all fairness, I have to admit that I don’t like to eat a popsicle that’s just come from the freezer either but I usually just set mine on a table for five or 10 minutes.

So, LOOK EVERYONE! LOOK AT THE SILLY THING MOXY DOES! Hahahahahaaaa! Look no further for any other embarrassing moments. That’s all the crazy I have to share today – byeeeee!

Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula Concentrated CreamNot deterred, eh? FINE. I’ll tell you what I did and I’ll be proud of it, because it’s innovative and resourceful, green even in my clever use of a renewable resource.

My hands get very dry in the winter so I always keep some Palmer’s Cocoa Butter in my car. This morning while The Goose was warming up, I decided to use some but the tube was fa-fa-fa-FREEZING. My hands were already cold so I didn’t want to make things worse but I did have some time until my car warmed up. In that ill-fated moment, I decided to put the tube of lotion where else, but in my bra? I know, I know but come on – it’s really warm in there!

While that, in and of itself, is sufficiently embarrassing, it doesn’t constitute the entire story. Just now, I was working away at my desk and felt an uncomfy itch in the bosom area. I tried to attend to the problem and found that I’D NEVER REMOVED THE TUBE OF LOTION. That’s right. It’s been in there ALL DAY, having worked itself into a cozy nook under, um, Thelma, of Thelma & Louise.

All day…

…EIGHT HOURS…

…and I even ran errands at lunch!

Trust me when I say that it’s definitely ready for use.

P.S. I want to assure those of you attending tomorrow’s Indy Bloggers Extravaganza that I won’t be carrying any health and beauty aids on my person, so there are no worries of accidentally elbowing me and seeing Vaseline shoot out of my crotch.

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6 Responses to “This May Get Me a Sponsorship Deal with Palmer’s”

  1. Amy Says:

    Hmmm… I think my cup size is about the same as the lotion bottle so I dare say I wouldn’t have put that in there and NOT NOTICED IT. Wasn’t it cold when you stashed it??

    Meanwhile, my well-endowed former boarding school roommate hauls all kinds of stuff in her bra. She came to visit last year and pulled out cell phone, writing implements, medication, who knows what. (I am not kidding.) She said she really wanted to invent a cargo bra with handy pockets.

    Well, I say why not just put those things in your PANTS pockets? I do remember my gramma stashing Kleenex in her bra straps…

  2. Kriss Says:

    I once carried my husband’s “swimmers” in a plastic cup in my bra from home to the fertility clinic.

    LMAO @ Thelma & Louise. Mine are Bert & Ernie. I don’t know why I picked boys’ names – Thelma & Louise make so much more sense.

  3. mox Says:

    I could not be more pleased that my silly popsicle warm-up method made it onto your blog–again! šŸ™‚

    Pretty soon, everyone’s gonna be doing it.

  4. Amy Says:

    That just sounds like an awful lot of couch lint involved with that method… I’m sure it’s still in the wrapper, but still.

  5. lydia Says:

    *sigh* if ONLY i had breasts i could lose things in…

  6. SweetBasta Says:

    Maybe you should offer to stash Moxy’s popsicle with Thelma & Louise for a bit. If you forget it though you would get very sticky.

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