Emergency Alert System

During the crazy storm last night, I got a little nervous and tried to calm myself by bothering Lean with text messages:

Me: It’s snow/sleeting! A tornado’s a’comin’!!

Lean: I’ve been blown to Bargersville from the tornado. Git on the John Deere and rescue me.

Me: Can u compose a haiku abt the wind?

Lean:

It’s windy outside.
Genitals are tingling. [I’m just now realizing this isn’t even seven syllables!]
I want some hot tea.

Limerick to come later.

Me: my haiku:

Now they are frozen,
my buns formerly of steel,
ice in my bunghole

Lean: Crap, yours is better. but i kick ass at squash and ping pong. eat that biz.

Me: I reuse ziploc bags

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