HBA Roundup

In lieu of my usual maudlin transcriptions, let’s talk healthy-and-beauty-aids!

Lean has often said that back in the day, she loved how her hair looked in a banana clip. Unfortunately she’s reluctant to sport one now for fear it’s no longer en vogue. A few weekends ago, we went to Ulta in search of miracle products, such as Cellulite-Be-Gone thigh cream and Don’t Shower For Days But Still Look Hot hair gel. Tucked away in the clearance section, I found today’s answer to an old favorite:

Plantain Clip
Excuse the crappy pic, which was taken at night in my car

It’s like a ‘nana clip, but a bit smaller and more chic. It must be relatively stylish, given that I found it at a hip healthy-and-beauty-aids mecca. But to eschew any association with played-out 80s styles, I’ve dubbed it:

~The Plantain Clip~

This re-branding gives the hair accessory new appeal while still acknowledging its origins. Can you dig it?


When I flew to Florida at Christmas, I bought a Comso magazine to keep me occupied on the plane…and to find out if people are still saying “Grody to the max!” The issue I read had lots of tips for keeping your hair bouncy and delicious, so I tried a few. One suggested you mix a tablespoon of lemon juice and a tablespoon of vinegar with your shampoo once a week to clarify your hair and keep your strands free of product build-up. Woo, you should’ve seen what that mess did to my ‘fro. It was stringy and dry and frizzy and yech – a definite thumbs down.

I’ve read in Cosmo before that you should use a deep conditioner once a week (ha ha) but this issue suggested you apply it to dry hair and wear a fancy shower cap for 5 or 10 minutes so the humectant love has a chance to penetrate your ‘do. Let me take a moment to note that the shower cap I got at the Dollar Store was really, really sexy. If you try this, you should aim to get one as sassy as mine and if you can, take a picture because I think it’s something we’d all enjoy.

Despite the humiliation of wearing a plastic flowered chef’s hat, this experiment had smashing results. I couldn’t get over how soft and cooperative my hair was. I met Moxy for a movie and I don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty sure after seeing my coiffure she wanted to make out with me. I mean, several times during the movie I had to push her away. Try this tip before your next night out and I guarantee those luscious locks will afford you plenty of opportunities to steal your date’s wallet.

And that’s it for this week’s health-and-beauty-aid roundup. Stay tuned for next week’s episode when we’ll find ways to make long leg hair look chic and sexy.

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