Local Burglar Thwarted by Fish Sandwich

Sorry, I couldn’t think of a good title. This silly one reminded me of when my British ex called to tell me his flat had been burgled. I’d never heard that noun → verb usage and it tickled me. Another good one is buttle, as in “A butler buttles.”

After the boil incident, I didn’t think the receptionist could again shock me with her lack of discretion. That was until yesterday, when she asked me if I knew of anything that helps with constipation.


Poor Abbs has been sick. She had a terrible UTI and an ear infection. I was so worried but she’s doing MUCH better.

When the vet first asked me to get a urine sample, I chortled heartily. That’s just not a one-person job, nor does it afford anyone involved any dignity. I left Abbs at the vet so they could try to get a sample from her but she refused to drink or do her business – feisty girl! Eventually she relented when the vet and I tag-teamed. In situations like this, I’m always reminded of Seinfeld’s bit about pets:

“On my block, a lot of people walk their dogs and I always see them walking along with their little poop bags. This, to me, is the lowest activity in human life. Following a dog with a little scooper. Waiting for him to go so you can walk down the street with it in your bag. If aliens are watching this through telescopes, they’re going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?

The vet gave me an antibiotic to give Abbs twice a day. The dolling out of the antibiotic has now become Abby’s favorite part of the day. In the morning and after work, as soon as we come inside, she trots over to my desk and sits obediently, waiting for what she must think is a new meat-offering ritual. I give her a few little pieces of ham and wrap the pill in one piece, which she happily gobbles unaware. Guess she inherited the easily-distracted gene from me.

Miscellaneous but Noteworthy


5 Responses to “Local Burglar Thwarted by Fish Sandwich”

  1. Elizabeth Says:

    Oh, man. Burgle is such an awesome word! (Don’t know if you’re a Simpsons fan, but it always reminds me of the Troy McClure movie, “They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall.”)

  2. Amy Says:

    Casper’s on abx too after her dental last week. She nearly took my finger off the other day when I presented her peanut-butter slathered pill on it! Once in awhile she spits out the pill but mostly she doesn’t know it’s there.

  3. Kriss Says:

    Oh, poor Abbs!! I love how she waits for her ham, though.

    Zoey does the same thing. She has to take a daily antacid; and every morning, she kerplops her fat butt in front of the counter for her Sassy Pill, followed by a cookie.

    Hope she’s better soon!!

  4. moosh in indy. Says:

    I’d like to say that as humans we are immune to the easily distracted thing, but if I show my husband boobs I could get him to swallow a scorpion whole.
    Get better little creature.

  5. westwardbound Says:

    But WHERE in Indiana IS Monseiur Depp? I MUST know!

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