Despite my vast range of falling experience, this morning I managed to fall an entirely new way. After my shower, I rubbed some cocoa butter on my summer-parched feet. I waited a few minutes for it to sink in and then headed to the bathroom to brush my hair. A few wet spots on the floor, some tumbleweed Abby fur, and my slippery hooves all conspired to make this Humpty Dumpty have a great fall. My front foot slid forward and when I tried to get my balance, my back foot slipped backward until I was doing the splits! It was like slow motion and I kept thinking, “There’s no way my body can continue in this fashion – it just can’t happen!” BUT IT DID. I did the splits people – BEFORE 9 A.M.! Abby wasn’t very impressed. She just yawned and sat beside me on the bathroom floor while I tried to compose myself.

Let the record show that my thighs are still throbbing. The upshot? I’m thinking this has the potential to get me a lot of dates!


4 Responses to “Elasti-Girl”

  1. KNH Says:


    PS Hilarious picture. I feel rather de-evolved when I fall, too!

  2. Kriss Says:

    Oh, God. I actually shuddered at the thought of you taking such a hard fall. I’m just relieved you didn’t break a leg or knock your head on the counter or anything.

    And why can’t the throbbing thighs be from some Harlequin romance novel type moves?!?!? Dangit.

  3. lydia Says:

    HAHAHA I hope you are okay!!! That sounds painful in spite of the hilarious picture brought to mind by the ape photo and your description.

    I only ever did the splits twice, and that was the two times I tried out for cheerleading (and made it, by some miracle… okay, it wasn’t a miracle, it was because I went to a school of 300 total people in 5 grades at the time). That was, let’s see, about fifteen years ago, so I am absolutely positive there’s no way I could get down into that position again!!!

  4. Amy Says:

    We all look bad in the morning, but goodness…

    The only time I ever passed out was at the veterinarian’s office and a VET revived me. That was embarrassing.

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