Don’t Expect a Traditional Narrative

I am SO grateful it’s Friday, I’m pretty much willing to show my thanks in any way to whatever deity might notice. No cloven-hoofed animals for dinner? No problem! Sacrifice my first born? Will do! Erect a shrine to Zaldort, leader of the little-known planet of Mermen hidden behind Neptune? Where’s my hammer?

Also did you know that if you accidentally leave string cheese in your purse, it will turn into something you’d not likely identify as a dairy product?

In less stream-of-consciousness news, the move went well, my enormous desk the only casualty. The back of it broke in an odd way when the movers tried to lift it but I wasn’t too worried because I’d planned to sell the big, unruly thing anyway. I did get a bit roughed up as you do during these labor-intensive affairs. I have a load of odd bruises and cuts, the worst one being a gnarly gash on my foot. I’m not sure how I got it but I have my suspicions. By Monday night, the movers had long since finished and I was cleaning and tying up lose ends at my old apartment. Over the last few weeks, I’d carried what felt like a thousand loads of crap to the trash, to Goodwill, to my car…you get the gist. I cleaned out my fridge and freezer and had three final, heavy bags to haul to the dumpster. Good sense told me I should make two trips, but my aching bod told me otherwise. And so in that desperate moment, I drug three enormous bags of trash across the parking lot to the dumpster, the whole time praying they wouldn’t burst. By some miracle, all three bags made it in tact, save a few straggling bits of trash. Around that time, I recall a sharp pain in my hoof but exhausted, I ignored my body’s early warning system and trudged onward. When I walked out of my old apartment about 15 minutes later, I felt something squishy in my shoe and looked down to find a Croc filled with blood. It was really quite gruesome. In addition to a lot of freezer-burned meat (no wonder I’m anemic), I’d pitched several bottles of liquor leftover from various parties. Somewhere along the way, I think some of that glass must’ve broken and sliced my foot. Still since that’s the worse that happened, I declare my move a success and am so ecstatic to be in a new space.

I’m also happy to report that I don’t teach again until the end of the month, so I’ll have actual free time to get settled into my new place. And this weekend, I’m going to have my poor, neglected hoopty detailed. The Goose has worked so hard and she deserves a little pampering. Come to think of it, I could do with a hot stone massage or two. What are your plans?

3 Responses to “Don’t Expect a Traditional Narrative”

  1. Kriss Says:

    Eeshk, woman – hope your foot is okay!

    Happy your move went relatively smooth, too. How’s Abby adjusting to life in the new place?

    Enjoy your weekend, too! My 16yo goddaughter is coming to stay with me & the baby, since Dave is still in England. I’m expecting copious amounts of girltalk & doling out of career advice.

  2. SweetBasta Says:

    Make sure you are up-to-date on your tetnus(sp) boosters.

  3. PastaQueen Says:

    Sorry about your desk and your foot! Glad your move went well otherwise.

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