Have You Ever Seen Geese Fight?

It doesn’t have quite the same punch as “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight” but it’s a worthy quandary nonetheless, one I unfortunately had occasion to answer last Sunday. After a leisurely drive, Moxy and I happened upon some geese by a pond in Lean’s apartment complex. Two boys were loitering nearby and appeared to be throwing pebbles at the geese. We told them to knock it off and a few moments later, looked over to find two geese in a full-on throw-down. Feathers were literally flying while all the neighboring geese came barreling toward the dueling pair, honking like lunatics. I’ve never seen such a spectacle! The fighting geese had locked beaks but couldn’t seem to make any progress one way or the other. The crazed mob mentality of the other geese only made things worse. I started blowing the horn (my default response in any crisis) and we tried to shoo the pair apart with dark threats like, “Don’t make me pull this car over” and “This is why your father drinks” but they kept at it while the rest of the flock flapped and paced and egged ’em on. Moxy finally got out of the car and managed to split up the little hellions, one of whom was so riled up, he/she followed the other when he/she tried to escape. I blew the horn and yelled some more, to clearly demonstrate my level-headed coping skills and finally things calmed down.

We had no idea what the fight had been over. A bastard gosling? A flirty hen? We hoped it wasn’t because they didn’t have enough food but weren’t sure what to do even if that was the case. Hopefully they managed to keep their beaks clean for the rest of the day but I can say with certainty that I’ll never be the same, having witnessed Mother Nature’s answer to the Jerry Springer Show.

P.S. I always feel sad for geese living near concrete and traffic in loud, urban environments. Poor honkers. It’s times like that when I’m ashamed at humankind’s audacity. Who are we to barge into pristine environments and re-purpose them to meet our needs, leaving the original inhabitants to pick up the pieces and fend for themselves?

P.P.S. Am I the only one who’s got a hankering for KFC? 😉

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3 Responses to “Have You Ever Seen Geese Fight?”

  1. PastaQueen Says:

    That would have made an awesome YouTube video!

  2. Kris Says:

    Ugh. Why the :H: were those kids throwing pebbles at the geese? Stupid fighting honkers probably thought it was corn.

    I feel sad for the displaced animals, too. We are a selfish society, and someday, we’re going to pay for our greed.

    And yeah, I could kill for some popcorn chicken. Is that wrong?

  3. westwardbound Says:

    Sorry, not a KFC girl.

    My huz and I used to eat lunch at the park in Boston where *many* a goose begs for food. (Don’t even get me started on the tourists feeding the squirrels and how it RUINS picnicking for the rest of us. HRUMPH!) One day, one particular goose kept harrassing us throughout our meal, circling our bench endlessly. While he was in the middle of a sentence, the goose leaned in very close to my husband and my husband turned to it, nearly nose-to-beak and barely pausing, said, Can I HELP you? and then continued with his thought.

    You kind of had to be there, but I probably laughed for 10 straight minutes. And I still get the giggles thinking about it.

    Geese. I swear they never go to Canada anymore either.

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