Recent Mortifications

  1. After making a fuss, finding out my dryer wasn’t broken and instead only need its fuse box switch flipped. (To my credit, I figured out that’s why I didn’t have any hot water when I first moved in but it didn’t even occur to me with the dryer. I did check to make sure it was plugged in. WIN.)
  2. Confronting the painful reality that my tendency to burst into song spills over into the classroom. After I taught recently the assistant gibed, “You made it through without singing this time!”
  3. Casually leading the cable guy into my boudoir only to be confronted with the remnants of last night’s tryst IN PLAIN VIEW. “Yes, that’s the cable outlet…right beside that prophylactic wrapper.”
  4. Infecting my work computer with some heinous, unstoppable malware at 5 p.m. on Friday. I felt obliged to call the emergency IT number to give them a heads-up on the off chance the problems might be virus-related.  I hated to do it but figured that embarrassment was preferable to the shame of coming to work on Monday and finding out my doltery disabled all the company’s workstations. When you’re in the IT field, hanging your head before a smug IT support guy is on par with slamming your hand in a drawer.
  5. Going to the Mc D’s drive-thru for breakfast often enough to be recognized and quoted my order without uttering a word. “Plain bagel with sausage and a large unsweetened iced tea, right?” (Don’t worry. I occasionally mix it up with whole grain bread and peanut butter.)
  6. The inevitable lascivious heckling that results when your boss’s boss grins and greets you with “Hey [my real name here]” but everyone thinks he said “Hey baby!”
  7. Begrudgingly laughing out loud more than once while watching Superbad.

P.S. Faithful reader Don Kramer sent me an IM this morning:

Mymsella, anything new to post? I’ve read this one too many times. Let me throw out a topic and maybe you can discuss. Maybe this goose birth control story as a follow-up to your last post? Dipping goose eggs in corn oil – interesting concept!



3 Responses to “Recent Mortifications”

  1. Kris Says:

    I’m giggling at #2, thanks to a mental picture of you breaking out in an unholy rendition of “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” during a class.

    I’m also deliriously happy to read #3! 😉

    If it makes you feel any better, all the employees at Papa Murphy’s are enamored with my husband, and greet him with an exuberant, “HI, DAVE” when he walks in the door. Charming British accent, my arse.

  2. SweetBasta Says:

    1 – It could easily have been the flux capacitor.
    2 – Life should be like a musical. At any time of emotional peak or vally it is usually a good time for a song, or if it has just been a while since the last song.
    3 – Hmmm . . . as in #2 what would be a good song for this situation. Was that cable guy at least cute? Are you sure you weren’t just doing some fetish role playing thing. Knock Knock . . . Cable guy . . . brown chicka brown cow!
    4 – You prolly got the malware from visiting your favorite porn site. Naughty Amature Cable Guys.
    5 – OK, how do you pull this one off? How do they know it’s you, by the sound of your engine? If it was a place where you had to walk up to the counter I could see how this would work. Is the drive thru at your McD’s set up where they can see you at the ordering(what the heck do you call that speaker thing you order at? an iOTod “insane Ordering Thing of death”)thing? Or do that have spies set up to alert them that you have pulled into the drive thru lane so that SNAP! they can suprise you by knowing your order.
    6 – He may have said your real name, but I bet it is the way he said it that made everyone think he said baby. Was he part of the tryst from #3?
    7 – Ha ha, so it was so Superbad it was Supergood. I had the same thing with Pineapple Express.

    As for the topic of discussion. I wouldn’t suggest it. If you got near a goose nest to get the eggs, for dipping in corn oil. The goose will go all hissy and ninja on you. Don’t do it!

  3. SweetBasta Says:

    I ramble.

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