Other People’s Hair: Cleaning Tales from the Edge

You know what nobody ever talks about? The fact that when you move into a residence that was previously occupied, if the painters are lazy sods, they paint over stray hairs in the bathroom. THAT’S RIGHT – stray hairs frozen in time, straggly monuments of poor hygiene paid forward to new residents. I know because I’ve seen them in every apartment I’ve ever lived in. I like to do an über cleaning to start things off on the right, erm, disinfected foot. Last night I finally got around to the bathroom, which I gave a sanitary what for. And I can attest that the indignity of dealing with those hairs and their off-the-charts gnarliness is far worse than the last indignity I can recall, having my butt cheeks spread during a skin cancer check. In fact, I would rather enjoy a prolonged cheek spreading if it meant I’d never again be on what a less-urbane blogger might call Pube Patrol.

Pardon me while I wash my hands in a solution of bleach and more bleach for the hundreth time.


9 Responses to “Other People’s Hair: Cleaning Tales from the Edge”

  1. sassybug Says:

    I have been reading your blog for awhile and this post cracked me up! I hate, hate, hate other people’s hair. It freaks me out. Under the sink, in our first apartment, there was a pile of hair trimmings like someone had stored them there. Yuck! I teach high school students and many are Native American and they lose their thick dark hair and with static it clings to my pants and skirts. Gross!!!! I would send you a gallon of bleach with my sympathy!

  2. Kriss Says:

    Oh, gawd, this just made my skin crawl.

    I can’t bring myself to take a bath in our tub for that very reason. I found some stray hairs in the drain when we first moved in, and was so repulsed that I refuse to put my sweet sweet girly bits where the previous scumbuckets scrubbed their nastiness. Blech.

  3. westwardbound Says:

    Um, eeeewwwww!!!

    But if you really enjoy it, you can come over and disinfect our bathrooms while Moosh in Indy vacuums up the crushed Cheerios with her Dyson. Anytime. Just let me know. 😛

  4. SweetBasta Says:

    What are these people doing sticking their pubes on the wall anyway? “Uh, cool, that’s a long one. I think I will save it here on the wall.” Did they weave their toenail clippings into the carpet as well?

  5. Amelia Says:

    Our banisters in our apartment have a similar problem: They were repainted without being dusted first, so they feel gritty and look dusty, but can’t be cleaned. Argh.

  6. moosh in indy. Says:

    As long a I don’t have to vacuum up stray pubes I’m SO THERE.

  7. a.k.a. Matthew Says:

    Do you find yourself sleuthing the ethnicity of the shedder. . . .wondering. . .Hispanic, African American. . .European . . .trimmer, non-trimmer. . .?

    P.S. The quote that mentions “sweet, sweet girly bits” literally makes me vomit a tiny bit.

    Come on readers. . . .they are in your bathroom. . .at least they aren’t in your sandwich.

  8. Amy Says:

    I wish I hadn’t seen this post OR the comments!!

  9. CSI: My Apartment « Distracted by Something Shiny Says:

    […] the mere knowledge that it once lay in hiding sends shivers up my spine. As I’ve mentioned before, nothing levels the playing field more than this type of […]

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