Here’s the latest from a profile on a dating Web site I’ve had the misfortune of browsing:
If you’re in a happy, healthy relationship – be thankful, is what I’m saying.
Do you know what your car will smell like the day after you spill a latte in it in August? ASS, is what. So steamy and gnarly, you’ll close your eyes and imagine better smells, like the one inside a rotting road-kill corpse.
Let me atone for that heinous imagery by telling you about what I like to call the orgasm peaches. Awhile ago, Moxy and I signed up for Farm Fresh Delivery, which brings us a load of organic, sometimes-local produce every other week. I initially thought everything was local, so I’ve been a little bummed when it’s not. It also seems like some of the veggies are right on the verge of going off when we get them. That said, it’s been fun to explore nature’s bounty and find new ways to use all the goodies (like in this yummy veggie pie I made).
The best of the bunch have been the peaches. OH MY GOD, the peaches. They are so delicious that Moxy said it well when she noted eating them is a sensual experience. They’re so juicy and heady with nectar, I’ve taken to snarfing them right over the sink, moaning with pleasure. Yes. THAT good. I don’t know where the orgasm peaches come from, but especially in times like these, when dating sites are rotten with alien rapscallions, it sure is nice to enjoy a fresh, decadent piece of…fruit.
P.S. Please congratulate dear reader Amelia on the birth of her beautiful baby girl! Yay – I finally get to sew some girly baby things!