Another Reason to Consider A Life of Celibacy

Arm hair

Oh yeah, baby! How did this stud know exactly what to put in his profile to bring all the girls to his yard? I mean, is there anything sexier than a forthcoming hottie on the prowl for an Amazonian bachelorette? This guy actually IMed Moxy, asking to do something extremely dirty to her hopefully-prevalent arm hair. On a whim, she asked him if this particular flirting technique was ever effective. He, of course, jovially dodged the question and moved on to solicit other less-enterprising young women.

Have you guys noticed an abundance of spiders in the last month? I don’t ever recall seeing so many of the spindly little bastards this time of year. One in particular had the audacity to weave a 3-bedroom web right by the door to my apartment. For ambiance, he drug an insect carcass into the web and appears to be defiling it whenever I come home. I’m really not sure how to get rid of this guy. I’m too much of a pacifist to oh, I don’t know, spray his web with 409 but I’m not feeling brave enough to gently extricate him and set him free in the nearby grass. I thought about sucking him up with the vacuum but worried he’d survive and trudge through the bowels of my vacuum cleaner to bite me in the night. Lean is the type of person who humanely captures insects who’ve strayed from the beaten path but I don’t know if even she has the Thoreauvian fortitude to relocate this mother.

I have a bad feeling that my laptop is on its last leg. It’s arbitrarily ceasing to recognize my keystrokes for increasingly longer periods of time, in addition to taking 5-7 minutes to load Web pages and switch between apps. Although I’m in IT, I don’t know a thing about hardware, so I’m dreading shopping for a new laptop. My Dad recently got one and was SO adorable when describing it to me. “You should see it [Mymsie]! It’s silver and really, really nice.” Hee.


3 Responses to “Another Reason to Consider A Life of Celibacy”

  1. SweetBasta Says:

    You should put on a hairy arm shirt, capture the spider and get him to go with you computer shopping, and more importantly help you pick out a sassy bag to carry the new computer in. Maybe you can get a really, really nice purple one.

  2. Kriss Says:

    How can one possibly look at arm hair as remotely erotic?!? And I’m dying to know – what did he ask Moxy to do???

    Didja find a new laptop yet? I ordered one from Dell last year, because it was the only place I could get one without Vista.

  3. westwardbound Says:

    Oh, the weirdness never ceases, does it?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: