Mother nature is once again punishing me for my impudent hedonism. Oh yes readers, she’s a mischievous minx with a twisted sense of humor. As you well know, I’ve intrepidly dipped my toe in the murky waters of Internet dating. Despite the glut of duds, I had my first date on Saturday. We e-mailed and talked for a few weeks and though tempered, my hopes were high. Against all odds, it went very well and after dinner and an hour of shameless flirting at a bookstore, we ended up at a lovely park. It was there that things took a passionate turn and, well, we ended up making out. I know, I know – that’s not something you do in public beyond the age of say, 12 or 13, but we just couldn’t help ourselves. Bear in mind that we were in a relatively-private gazebo and whenever anyone was in the vicinity, we broke apart to casually discuss the Pythagorean Theorem. It was all innocent and fun until the next morning when I found that my feet, ankles, and legs were COVERED in mosquito bites. I was wearing a skirt, you see, and got so caught up in the smooching, I didn’t notice the army of insects feasting on my limbs. I stopped counting at 13 bites and instead spent the week scratching furiously and cursing my childish romp.
In other I Can’t Handle Adult Responsibility news, my driver’s license expired on my birthday so (a month later), I called the BMV to find out if I needed to bring any obscure paperwork to renew it. The kind lady I spoke with summarily informed me I had accrued enough points on my license that I had to take the written test to once again be considered road-worthy. “FANTASTIC,” I chirped. The points were courtesy of my first speeding ticket, The Incident, and my most-recent foray with Barney Fife. WOW. Who wants to hire me to balance your checkbook or care for your children? Thankfully everything turned out well. I took a few hours off work to study and passed with only one wrong. Yay me!
To clean my cluttered slate, I’m heading to Chicago for a night o’ fun with the Bumble B, during which I will NOT make out outside or receive any moving violations. What are you up to this weekend?