Jingle This

I hate to admit this because it’s rather Scroogey but it drives me bonkers when people wear bells around the holidays. There are a few women at my job who do, including one who wears bell earrings AND a bell necklace. In all honestly every time she jingles gaily by my office I want to rip those bells off her person and shout, “Santa has heel spurs and type 2 diabetes!” Naturally I refrain from any such behavior but in my mind it happens along with a myriad of other fantasy events such as me and Robert Downey Jr. engaged in a naked, brownie-baking tete-a-tete.

Sewing DeskThis weekend, Moxy’s boyfriend came to the rescue and put together my IKEA dining-table-cum-sewing-desk. The speed with which he did this compared to my ineptitude in such endeavors is terribly mortifying. In my mind, the project would take hours and maybe even require a backhoe and an overnight break but he whipped that mother into one piece in no time, pausing only to take off his shirt and chest heaving like a brutish Satyr, ask us to rub his pectorals with oil. Being unfamiliar with the etiquette of carpentry, Moxy and I had no choice but to comply and beware of splinters.

The box my desk came in was too awkward and heavy for me to lift out of my trunk so I figured I’d ask whoever I paid to put it together to haul it inside. In typical me fashion, it’s been in my trunk since I bought it last summer. Pete estimated that the box weighed about 100 pounds. I just realized that now that it’s out, I’ll probably get better gas mileage!


3 Responses to “Jingle This”

  1. Kris Says:

    I covet thy blog buddy’s sewing table. Seriously. I can’t believe you got such a gorgeous piece of furniture (made out of real birch, no less!) for under $200.

    I’m with you on the people wearing bells; but I hung some purple/pink/teal/lime ones on my Christmas tree this year & they look really pretty when tied with some silver iridescent ribbon. 🙂

  2. Pete Says:

    I don’t recall the pectoral-oiling part, but I was in such a haze of masculine furniture assembly at the time that I can only defer to your recollection of the events. Heh.

  3. SweetBasta Says:

    Your hate of bells leaves many angels flightless. You are probably going to go all Fatal Attraction on the Easter Bunny too. Does the ringing of the bells distract you from you listening and singing to the Carpenter’s Christmas Album?

    With less weight in the rear of your car you will also have less traction, so be careful on the slick roads.

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