Table for One or An Exposition of My Insecurites

I do not like eating alone at restaurants. In fact I never do it unless I absolutely have to. Today is one of those days because I’m having my car detailed across the street and have to loiter somewhere for a few hours. I figured I should order something since I’ll be here for so long but I’m pretty uncomfortable, worried everyone feels sorry for me because I’m alone. I want to shout “I HAVE MANY FRIENDS AND A VERY FULL SOCIAL LIFE” but I’m guessing that would be frowned upon. Instead I quietly noshed on my granola pancakes and now am blogging with my head down. One mean lady kept staring at me and I was afraid she was judging my old laptop. (I know this is RIDICULOUSLY self involved and that most people couldn’t care less but please indulge my neurosis for the next few minutes.)

Just last night Moxy and I were talking about feeling insecure being alone in public waiting for someone. I sometimes use my cell phone as a crutch to pretend I’m very busy with very important texting matters. That got me thinking about what we did pre-cell phones. I think in so many ways they’ve hindered our ability to be comfortable alone. I remember during my undergrad when it became more common for students to have cell phones. It seemed like everyone was talking on them while walking to and from class and I always wondered how much you could possibly have to say in that moment. “Yeah, I’m walking to Bio. I’m near the Union now. I could stop for coffee but I won’t. Oh there’s a dangerous-looking puddle up ahead, HOLD ON!”

So what’s my point? That’s a great question! Maybe if I spent more time alone at restaurants I’d figure it out.

P.S. I IMd with Moxy for a while and told her about my secret desire to shout “SERVICE IS NEEDED IN LAYAWAY!” I always have odd urges like that with the goal of seeing how people would react to such absurdity. Am I alone in this? Anyone…?

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7 Responses to “Table for One or An Exposition of My Insecurites”

  1. Kristie Says:

    You are not alone. I also don’t eat alone. I try to avoid it as much as I can. and if i do have to eat alone i make it look like it was my choice…like i bring something to keep me occupied after I’ve eaten (like a book, notebook so i can write or a laptop.

  2. westwardbound Says:

    As long as I have something to read, I’m fine eating alone. But waiting for people at a bar, or outside a restuarant, etc. used to drive me crazy. I was a late-cell phone adopter (2002? 2003? seriously!) and I used to enjoy cigarettes as crutches during those times. Stupid, I know.

  3. Matthew Says:

    A) Yes, you are alone in this.

    B) Damn, girl. . . .I’ve been trying to justify the expense of someone detailing my car for as long as I could remember. Please share how you overcame the guilt of that indulgence. Make this post a two-parter.

    • mymsie Says:

      It’s only $44 at Sparkling Image Car Wash. (That doesn’t include rugs and upholstery. I don’t get my rugs cleaned ever though because I covered them with heavy duty rubber mats.) Totally worth it because they clean all the nooks and crannies. The Goose is spruced!

  4. Matthew Says:

    I’m calling them today! Their cheapest detailing used to be $99. Poor economic times have made having a sparkling ride more affordable.

  5. Jennette Says:

    I’ve done the fake texting thing too.

  6. Maxine Dangerous Says:

    The only place I feel comfortable dining alone is a coffeehouse. Granted, I’m not really dining (baked goods don’t REALLY count, right?) and I also have my laptop to prevent me from accidentally making eye contact with *gulp* other ::whispers:: HUMANS. I… felt like I had a point. Hmm. It’s gone now. 😀

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