Oh hai. *cough* What’s that? *hack* You can’t hear me over all the coughing? *lung expulsion* Well it’s no picnic on this end either. (TWSS) I don’t know if it’s all the cottonwood fluff floating around or what but I’ve been coughing since last Friday and my exhalations sounds like a coffeemaker’s wheezy sputtering. I haven’t used my inhaler this much since I had pneumonia in college. I’ve tried over-the-counter everything so I just made an appointment with my doctor. In the meantime, being near me is like hanging out in a tuberculosis ward.
The gym continues to be a constant source of entertainment. Last night, a nasty storm forced us to evacuate the outdoor pool so we went to the indoor pool instead. After about a half-an-hour, the power went off with a frightening THUNK. It was a little freaky but also sparked my inner trouble-maker. I had an overwhelming compulsion to do something naughty so I started checking random closet doors to see if they were unlocked. I didn’t have a plan for what I’d do if one was and it’s not like I would’ve discovered something crazy like an army of life-size Gummi Bears (sorry, I just watched the California Gurls video) but I couldn’t resist the urge to try. In the end, I couldn’t think of anything clandestine or exciting but am open to ideas for the next outage.
The upside of a gym black-out is the merciful cessation of my overdrive OCD tendencies. You see, being in a locker room is very stressful for me. There’s something about the combination of rogue hair and wet floors that makes my skin crawl. In fact, I sometimes have nightmares about having to walk barefoot across a wet, hairy shower floor with gnarly, fetid, standing water and OHMYGOD, just typing this is killing me! And don’t forget the random dirty underwear left on top of the lockers, stray trails of used toilet paper, and the weird crustacean-like booger on the soap dispenser in shower stall 2. But when the lights were out, I couldn’t see a thing and therefore didn’t spend the entire time tense and agonizing, afraid of catching 10 different strains of cooties. It was so wonderful to shower and dress in the damp darkness, completely unaware of the cesspool below. Sadly I’m sure the power has been restored but I’ll always remember the fleeting day my neurosis was kept at bay.
P.S. Really the locker room at the gym I’ve been going to is relatively clean. I’m making it sound terrible because I have a thing but overall, it’s not a horrible place to change.
P.P.S. What is with boys wearing underwear under their swim trunks? Also, Guy in the Purple Speedo? COME ON!!