On Notice: Part 1

On Notice

You’re no doubt completely bored of hearing about my attempts to go from pathetically out of shape to moderately out of shape and yet when I’m compelled to write, I cannot squelch the desire. So strong it was, I nearly leapt out of the pool last night to rush home and blog. You see, during a shallow water aerobics class…well first allow me to note that I finally mastered doing cross-country skier legs with jumping jack arms. I manage just fine with jumping jack arms and legs OR cross-country skier arms and legs but when the twain meet, I find myself gyrating like an oil-coated walrus. I’m sure many of you would have no trouble with such a trivial task but as I was recently contacted by descendants of George Merriam and Noah Webster to ask if my picture might be included in the dictionary next to “uncoordinated,” I’m very pleased with this modest development. Unfortunately my joy was short-lived because the instructor found it necessary to discuss food for more than half the class and no, I’m not joking. While she pined over M&Ms and white-chocolate Kit Kats, one wisp of a lady in the front row who I can declare with certainty has NO body fat and in an even crueler twist of fate, works at a local chocolaterie, blithely remarked that she doesn’t like icing. I suspect she also finds mascarpone to be too rich and is still full from the half a PowerBar she had for breakfast. And so if I could, I might ask her to give silent thanks for the nature and nurture that made her so and have mercy on those of us who require a Xanax at the mere thought of staying under 3000 calories/day.


3 Responses to “On Notice: Part 1”

  1. Chi Says:

    The space invader doesn’t like icing? How the fuck did she get a job at an icing-dependent establishment?? I don’t understand people who don’t like sweets or aren’t moved to tears by chocolate. I already didn’t like her, even though I’m pretty sure she bats for my team, and now I like her less. HMPH!

  2. Jennette Says:

    White chocolate Kit Kats? They have white chocolate Kit Kats?! Why must you taunt me with this knowledge?

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