Guess what? The Goose is fixed and honkin’ up a storm but now I have a new problem – a ridiculous amount of terlet paper! You see, right before my car accident, I bought a big package of Charmin MegaRolls. (One roll is the equivalent of 4 regular-sized ones, which I love, since I’m a lazy sod.) The pack I bought contained 12 MegaRolls and wouldn’t fit in a regular bag, so I threw it in the trunk. As I was waiting for a ride at the scene of the accident, I grabbed some necessities out of my car but couldn’t bring myself to stand on the side of the road with an enormous pack of terlet paper. Once my car was at the body shop, there was NO WAY I wanted to priss into the testosterone-filled garage to fetch my TP, so I just bought another pack of MegaRolls. Now that my car is all fixed, I’ve got more toilet paper than I know what to do with! I mean if nuclear winter comes and we’re all infected with some kind of mutant dysentery, I’m all set. Maybe I should get some pals together to toilet paper someone’s house. Other ideas?