Archive for the ‘’tis the Season’ Category

I Vote for “Biscuit Brownie Town”

November 4, 2012

You guys, I know it’s only day 4 of NaBloPoMo and I’ve already missed a day but sadly, I’ve got a good excuse. The first half of yesterday went pretty well. My new mattress was delivered and set up without a hitch and although I wanted to faceplant into it and sleep all day, I pressed onward to vote early. When I arrived at the early polling place for my county, it was sunny out but sleeting, which was strange but I managed to find a parking spot & make my way into the building. Once inside, I found a reeeeeally long line that snaked all the way around the building and back. At the time, I didn’t realize just how long the line was or I might’ve given up and tried again later. Once I knew how long I’d have to wait, I had already invested enough time that it felt silly to leave. I ended up standing in line for more than 2-1/2 hours! I was not wearing appropriate footwear so my tootsies were hurtin’ but I’m so glad to have cast my ballot and grateful to live in a country that offers me that freedom.

Next up, I decided to visit my Dad at the facility where he’s been convalescing and found him in HORRIBLE mental condition. He was confused and could barely put a sentence together or accomplish basic tasks. I took him to the ER and he was re-admitted to the hospital. It was a long, hard night and I hated for him to have to go back into the hospital but it’s where he needs to be for now. I made it home around 1 a.m. and immediately crashed onto my new mattress for a night of fitful sleep.

It’s been really hard for me to focus at work lately because I get calls and emails about my Dad’s care all day long. I’m realizing that helping him is going to require my full attention, at least until things get better, so I’ll probably be using some FMLA time to get off work.

And now for my favorite text of the week → I was telling my friend (whom the tabloids refer to as Maxine Dangerous) how dumb it is that the place at the hospital where you go for mental health emergencies is called “Crisis.” Her response?

Okay, suggestions for rebranding “Crisis”: The Bahamas, Unicorn Happy Town, Lollipop Land, Monopoly City, Biscuit Brownie Town

LOLz!! 🙂



November 2, 2012

It’s waaaay past my bedtime but even a professional procrastinator like me couldn’t abandon NaBloPoMo on day 2, so I’m showing up! I’ve got a busy weekend ahead. The plan is to get up in a few short hours and vote early. I really want to avoid the long lines next week. I will be SO glad when the election is over. I feel very strongly about my choice, but the constant, back-and-forth political flim flam is driving me crazy!

Remember on Sunday...

Heat Advisory

July 20, 2011

Heat Advisory

If I Could Turn Back Time

February 3, 2011

Remember a few weeks ago when I was excited for snow so I could wear my new boots? I would like to take this opportunity to formally apologize for that lunacy. Unfortunately it’s only now, 3 days into one of the worst winter storms I’ve ever endured that I’m able to see the error of my ways. We haven’t gotten that much snow but the ice? Oh dear God, the ice. Everything is covered in a sickeningly shiny sheet, so thick it doesn’t even break when I stand on it. The upshot is that my work’s been closed for 2 days and is again tomorrow but I haven’t really been able to enjoy the break because I’ve been fretting about falling, losing power (thankfully haven’t so far), and poor Abbs. She can barely stand to pee and poo outside. She already moves more slowly now that she’s 13 but today on the ice, she fell over and over again and each time my heart broke. I tried to explain to her what was going on but she clearly didn’t understand.

I haven’t had to keep her on a leash for years now. She generally stays pretty close to me wherever we go but she seems to enjoy the freedom especially during potty breaks. Because it’s so slick, I’ve had to start taking her out on leash so she can’t get too far away from me and she is NOT happy about it. She keeps lookin’ at me with these big ol’ doe eyes pleading, “Why am I hooked up to this dumb thing?” Poor pupper. On top of everything, her nails need to be trimmed. I’m hoping to take her to the vet’s tomorrow for a trim & bonus ear cleaning, which I’m sure she’ll love.

Once the sidewalks had been scraped today, I ventured out to get salt to sprinkle on the grass. It seems to be helping but it’s still all but impossible to move around. I am so grateful I have covered parking so I didn’t have to de-ice my car. I’ve also never been more grateful for all the people who scrape and plow when the weather is like this. I have a newly inflamed loathing for winter. Spring can’t come soon enough! Thankfully I was also able to hit the pool tonight and swim laps, followed by a fun dinner with the gang. I’m hoping to do some sewing tomorrow and even though we’re well into 2011, I still need to finish up my 2010 MymBOs post. More soon!

Red Ticket!!!

December 27, 2010

I went to my work holiday party a few weeks ago. Every year they throw a big bash complete with a yummy meal, drinks, and prizes. I’ve never worked anywhere that offered anything close, so I really appreciate it. That said, the celebration was piqued by the loopy behavior of  a colorful Santa and a woman who over-imbibed. That’s so clichéd I didn’t think it possible but trust me when I say that had there been a lampshade nearby, either would’ve happily donned it.

Santa was kind enough to announce prize winners, except I suspect he too was drunk or had recently undergone dental surgery because you could barely understand a word he said. His ill-fitting beard, which looked more like a re-purposed toupee, only served to muffle his already incoherent mumblings.

When we arrived at the party, everyone got half of a red ticket with a number on it. The other half of the ticket with the same number on it went into a drawing. Before announcing the numbers he drew, Santa cheerfully specified “red ticket” even though all the tickets were red, but he was so difficult to understand, it sounded more like “ray tick-ayyyyy!” Once the drunk lady caught on, she stood up and started shouting “RAY TICK-AYYY” over and over. Funnily enough, she won several gift cards. A good time was had by all but only some of us left with our dignity in tact. Fortunately I had so little dignity to begin with, I wasn’t much affected. 😉

Hot Shop

December 13, 2010

I’ve got three half-finished posts from the last week lingering in draft status. It hasn’t helped matters that after days of sputtering, my home Internet connection conked out and won’t be fixed until Wednesday. (The only earlier appointment was for today between 8 a.m. and 7 p.m., which is so beyond ludicrous, I refused it.) Please bear with me as I try to get it in gear this week.

It was so hot in Target last night that I’m convinced Gatorade was paying the heating bill just to drum up business from parched customers drained of electrolytes. By the time I got to the produce section, in my fevered state, I seriously considered hopping into one of the displays so I’d get sprayed down alongside the lettuces. Still I couldn’t put off grocery shopping anymore as my fridge and cupboards were completely bare. The situation was so desperate that earlier in the week, I had only stale pierogies to eat, ones which had been in my freezer for a frighteningly indeterminate amount of time, resulting in a most unpleasant and rather chewy dinner.

Now that NaBloPoMo is over, I kind of miss it. For 19 shining days in November, I managed to cull my mind’s meanderings into something of a narrative. And those of you who posted every single day, even on Thanksgiving when there wasn’t much to say other than “Oof, I’m full?” I’m in awe of your determination.

We got a decent smattering of snow over the weekend, which drifted overnight and made a hellacious mess of every parking lot in my area code. If you hear a scream followed by a loud thud, it’s probably me falling on my ass. I’ll be mortified so please look away and go about your business (but it wouldn’t hurt to comment on my new hair cut, 4″ lopped off and bangs!)

The Elephant in My Blog

November 23, 2010

Let’s not talk about how I haven’t blogged the last few days, OK? I mean in the “every day” sense, I haven’t been the best NaBloPoMoer, but going from blogging once a week at most to 16 posts in 23 days ain’t bad. So let’s focus on the spirit of NaBloPoMo as opposed to the letter of it, umkay?

The last 24 hours perfectly exemplify the unbound insanity that is Indiana weather. Yesterday the temperature rose into the balmy 60s. The minute I got home from work, I flung open a window to infuse my apartment with the lazy, auburn warmth of late fall. Sadly, I awoke at 4 a.m. freezing my arse off. The temperature had dropped more than 30 degrees and in the dim haze of approaching dawn, I’m pretty sure I saw the sheen of frost on my comforter. I was forced to turn on the heat to thaw out my bed linens as I grumbled myself back to sleep. Really, Indiana? REALLY? Poo on your head!

You’ll be relieved to know that my gym replaced the curtains in the locker room showers. Aside from the suspicious brown splatters, none were wide enough so each shower meant another opportunity to decide which half of your body you were willing to expose. I’ve already shared how even a regular day in the locker room leaves me hovering on the brink of a panic attack so enjoying the freedom of a private shower is truly a welcome event.

A Brand New Life Around the Bend

October 29, 2010

On the last episode of Who’s the Boss, Samantha and her boyfriend Hank opted to elope to eschew their families’ misgivings about their relationship. Sam stirred the pot by fully supporting Hank’s decision to become a puppeteer instead of a doctor.

Wait, this isn’t a 90s TV blog, is it?


My week in Chicago is neatly summarized by this text I sent to B:

Spilled coffee on shirt first thing this a.m. I win @ capable. Soaked thru to bra so now when I get flushed I radiate a Folgers odor.

That makes my trip sound far more dismal than it was, although by week’s end, my brain was so tired and full, I wished it had a companion external hard drive to store everything I’d learned so I could go back to thinking about puppies and glitter.

It just so happened that there was a restaurant and hotel workers’ union protest the first few days of my conference. My room was on the 22nd floor but I could easily hear the shouting and clanging. Fortunately my incredibly comfortable bed made sleeping a breeze. I ended up in a room with 2 beds, each one boasting 4 gloriously fluffy, down-filled pillows. I piled all those mothers on my bed and snoozed happily like a swaddled babe. A few nights, I shamelessly took advantage of room service but did manage to get out and walk around downtown one evening.

I was reminded of the joy in leaving a messy room and returning to find your nook perfectly tidy and restocked with health and beauty aids (Crabtree & Evelyn, natch), not to speak of delightfully tiny bottles of liquor. That’s a pleasure I believe one should enjoy at least once a year even if it’s just pretendsies with a cute friend cleaning your pad while donning a maid’s/butler’s uniform.

I made a few friends at the conference, including one girl from Indy. It sure was nice to have some buddies in the roiling sea of nerds. I also had dinner with AZBad one night. We ended up going to Kitty O’Sheas, an Irish Pub whose name never fails to conjure notions of twisted Celtic porn.

Do you have fun Halloween plans? Tonight the girls and I are celebrating Lean’s birthday at Bonefish Grill but otherwise my weekend will be a quiet one. Today I remembered the year some horrible thugs smashed the pumpkin my dad and I carved. I think I was between 8- and 10-years old. Pappy was so incensed, he chased after them down the street yelling like only a southern Presbyterian minister can. Years later my brother revealed that the thugs were retaliating because he and his friends had egged them. NICE. What’s your favorite Halloween memory?

Death & Taxes (Except No Death Really)

April 15, 2010

I finished my taxes a day early, which for a perfectionist procrastinator (God, I’m exhausting) is pretty good! They were a little more complicated this year since I had some freelance gigs but I managed to emerge unscathed and a couple hundred bucks in the black. Unfortunately those monies (my new favorite corporate-ism) will go toward stupid medical/dental bills because falling out of bed and skipping the dentist for a few years ain’t cheap! (For the record, I’m extremely grateful to have insurance so please don’t smite me God of Health Care or any related deities.)

And speaking of perfectionism and procrastination, I think I’m finally almost settled into my apartment, which I moved into more than a year ago. Last night I started the final phase, framing pictures and plotting where to hang them. There are a few things I need to have framed, which can be spency so I may be employing some creative hanging techniques in the meantime. Although it’s taken a ridiculous amount of time, I’ve never been more organized or free of the detritus of yore (except for my swimming ribbons and college notebooks DON’T JUDGE ME.)

I don’t know about you but I had a super fun weekend including lunch at the IMA Cafe, which I highly recommend for 1) a lovely outdoor dining experience and 2) their amazing cornbread. I also saw Date Night, which wasn’t nearly as bad as I had anticipated (be sure to stay for the hilarious outtakes at the end) and wrapped things up with an uproarious dinner with the gang, heavy on the margaritas and talk of an upcoming camping trip. Tonight the revelry continues when the girls and I get together for our weekly debriefing. We usually watch Project Runway but frankly this season has been a real snoozer so last week we succumbed to our baser instincts and tuned in to Sober House. We’re mad at Dr. Drew for letting Tom Sizemore be on the same season as Heidi Fleiss. “How dare he put her recovery in jeopardy,” we clucked. Are your plans equally as scholarly?


April 5, 2010
  • After my last post, I was all chuffed about how I seemed to be in a good groove of posting more often and now here it is April 5th and I haven’t posted since. Me FTW!
  • Some people are surprised by my interest in the NCAA championship run but it’s pretty hard to grow up in North Carolina and not get the fever this time of year. I think all kids from the south are micro-chipped and coerced into fandom via satellite. Of course this year is especially exciting because Butler made it to the final dance. It was a tough call but a few years ago when IU played UNC in the Final Four I decided my IU alumnae status trumps my ties to North Carolina. For Butler, I’ve painted my nails blue and learned a cheer: B-U, T-L-E, R-you a bulldog? HELL YEAH!
  • In other local news, I only just figured out that Indy is called Naptown because of the “nap” in Indianapolis.
  • I love how I can buy kalamata olives and leave them in the fridge for weeks and weeks but when I finally open that deli container and have one, it still tastes SO good I’m instantly transported to that unassuming little restaurant right on the Adriatic in Opatija.
  • You know what annoys me? When people back into parking spots. I mean what is this, The Dukes of Hazzard? Do you really need to get out of your spot so quickly when you leave? And you know that the time it takes to back in is at least equal to the time it takes to back out, so you’re not thwarting Father Time or anything?