Beefy Shkrimps

A few months ago, my Mom told me about a sale at Kroger on frozen shrimp. They were uncooked and still in the shell, and surprisingly fresh and delicious. I bought some and discovered a new, yummy meal: shkrimp cocktail and pierogies. Both take 3-4 minutes to boil and both taste SOOO good, but are very low in fat. I was all, “Go me for creating a healthy and delicious meal” but the grocery Gods were all, “Not so fast bitchella!”

I finally ran out of delicious shkrimpies and decided to head to Kroger to get more. This time they weren’t on sale, and most of the frozen shrimp they had were already cooked. I rummaged through the seafood cooler at Kroger (which is small because we’re land locked in Hoosiertucky) and managed to find some uncooked, in-shell shrimp. They were a lot bigger than what I got before, but I was all, “Shkrimps are shkrimps! Let’s go get ’em!”

Last night, I thought I’d treat myself to what until then, had been a yummy, filling and healthy dinner. I pulled the hefty mothers from the freezer and boiled ’em up. Before, I might have 10 shkrimps, but these were so big, I only boiled up five. I quickly prepared my ‘rogies, dolloped cocktail sauce on my plate and sat down for vittles.

I picked up my first shrimp and started peeling. I tore off the poor shkrimpies’ legs and all the shelly bits, dipped and took a bite. YUCKY. YUCKY YUCKY. I normally give Abbers little pieces of shrimp but even she wouldn’t eat this death bounty of the sea. I would estimate that the flavor of the big shkrimps was close to the flavor of the regular shkrimps, but the consistency ruined it for me. They were tough and meaty-like and that yucky vein was bigger and upon closer inspection, grosser.

Moral of the story: the size of your shkrimp matters!