Today I had to go to a baby shower at work. Well, I guess I didn’t have to attend but I didn’t think the old bloody diarrhea excuse would work, particularly when I could easily be found in my office, headphones firmly in place while perusing craft blogs.
The shower was lovely and sweet and don’t get me wrong – I’m all for babies…but sometimes when you’re single, you just can’t bring yourself to “awww” and coo anymore, especially over scraps of fabric solely intended to bear baby hurl. It doesn’t mean you hate babies or baby-havers or don’t someday want babies of your own. It just means you’re in a different (perhaps frustrated) place, better suited for late nights, Tapas restaurants (there’s a new one in Indy!), and detailed discussions about penis girth.
Thankfully the shower came fully equipped with a delicious cake, piped with shamefully-sweet icing. I can always count on refined sugar to get me out of a bind!
P.S. While we’re on the subject of babies, did you know that I find Celine Dion so irritating, for years now I’ve felt compelled to spread the vicious rumor that she eats her young? And trust me – that slander will go on.
Distracted by Something Shiny 
August 12, 2007 at 2:17 am |
totally get it. i think the baby thing is like a switch in your head that is either on or off. if you actually knew me, you’d know that i like babies, but i’m totally freaked out by pregnant ladies and pregnancy/birth, in general…which makes it hilarious that i just threw the worst most whacked out baby shower ever. i think other people had fun, but i felt totally out of place. even creepier than most of the conversations that took place over “mommy mimosas” is the fact that one of the babies [the woman’s having wins] will be named LANCELOT. I think that paints a vivid enough picture for me to shut up now. [read: count me in for tapas.]
August 13, 2007 at 3:15 am |
LMAO at the Celine Dion “going on” reference! She just seems so self-righteous and uppity, when in reality she broke up her husband’s marriage for her own selfish purposes. Blech.
And that nasal voice. Oh, God, the voice. I can’t wait for her Vegas show to retire – here’s hoping she moves back to Canada, eh.
August 14, 2007 at 12:15 am |
And while we’re at it, why throw the shower at work? I’m happy for people who get married/have babies, but the workplace seems like the wrong place to have a shower. I remember being single and really disliking when people made me go to these rites of passage when I’d never even seen any of the people outside of work.
Good for you for making the best (cake) out of a less-than-ideal situation!
August 14, 2007 at 3:59 pm |
I’m with you–the wedding and baby showers at work put everyone in uncomfortable places, especially when you’re strongarmed into getting presents all the time.
August 15, 2007 at 7:01 pm |
Ah, there’s KNH reading in the same blog circles as I do again! For the record, she and I have worked together for a long time and share the showers-at-work disdain. It’s nice to have one coworker with whom to IM about these very complaints. 🙂
September 5, 2007 at 11:08 am |
There’s a book at the library on how to survive when all of your friends are getting married (all at once!) and you’re still single. I guess you need the baby-shower version…