Sproing

“Springing forward” makes the time change sound like a pleasant, hoppy event when instead it’s a sleep-snatching inconvenience. Thankfully in addition to being distracted by the usual shiny stuff, I have lots of fun escapades to keep me occupied as winter melts into spring. My creative juices are really flowin’, so I’ve been working on some new sewing projects, including a cute tote bag to give away in honor of my second blogiversary.

A video store in my ‘hood is closing so I got some great DVDs on the cheap this weekend including a few Ed Norton joints and one of my 90s favorites, Soapdish. I also used the amazon.com gift certificates I won on Blingo to get seasons one, two, and three of The Office, Bend-the-Rules Sewing, and the Stitch-It Kit. All this was enough to entertain me until the cable was turned back on yesterday. Comcast made me get a digital cable box even though I have the most basic of basic service. The remote for the cable box is bigger than my TV so I don’t expect to master its many superfluous functions.

On Saturday, Lean and I ran some errands, including a stop at Sephora. For years, I’ve been looking for a really good hand cream and in the process have tried frillions of different products and spent tons of money. If I find something that works well, I’ll gladly pay whatever it costs in favor of this exhausting and expensive process of elimination. The nice lady at Sephora recommended a brand and gave me a sample to take home so if it doesn’t work, I didn’t waste my money on an entire tube. I also got the most delicious-smelling bubble bath EVER. It’s crème brûlée-scented and yesterday, as I sat in a tub full of bubbles, I happily awaited the moment when the chef would sprinkle sugar on my head and blow torch it, creating a sweet, crystalline crust.

After shopping, Lean and I had an interesting philanthropic adventure. In an effort to avoid the insane mall traffic, we took a circuitous route and happened upon a guy whose car had run out of gas. He was frantic, saying he didn’t have a job for months but finally got one and was now three hours late to work. He also said someone had taken his gas can to get him gas but never returned. We felt bad so we offered to help. Before we pulled off to get gas he shouted, “Hurry up!” We didn’t let it deter us but thought that was an odd thing to say to strangers who are generously helping you. It only took us about 10 minutes to hit the nearest gas station, buy a gas can, and fill it with gas but by the time we returned, the man and his car had vanished. Maybe whoever took his gas can finally returned. Or maybe we were on candid camera but they shut down the operation because our reaction wasn’t funny enough.

Afterward, Lean and I drove around with the gas can stinking up her car as we dodged discarded smoldering cigs on the road. We asked a gas station employee if we could leave the volatile vessel there but apparently that’s against some fire code. We ended up putting it in Lean’s trunk and cutting our errands short to avoid the remote possibility of getting rear-ended and exploding into a million bits o’ Mymsie and Lean. I’m assuming Lean took the can home and used its contents to water her plants.

P.S. I ♥ this clip from season two of The Office. It’s a bonanza of physical comedy – brilliantly blocked and executed and loaded with tiny moments of hilarity. I especially love the look on Ryan’s face when Dwigt tackles him:

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6 Responses to “Sproing”

  1. Kriss Says:

    Okay – dumb question – but why didn’t you just pour the gas into Lean’s tank?

    The Bend The Rules sewing book looks really clever!

    And I bet the creme brulee bubble bath is heavenly. I’ve never been to a Sephora store, but we may have to hit the one in Las Vegas next time we go.

    (I just bought a bottle of Eucerin Plus intensive repair lotion, because my knees & elbows were getting scaly. It’s working really well so far, but I mix it with a little bit of baby lotion to tone down the greasiness.)

  2. SweetBasta Says:

    Yes, Kriss is right! You should have put the gas in Lean’s tank and then left the cap off of the can for a min to let the residue evaporate. HURRY!

    So after the new lotion, did you get a boil?

  3. Mymsie Says:

    Oh my God, what a mortification that we didn’t think of that!! Maybe we were high from the fumes? We’re good at critical thinking!

  4. moosh in indy. Says:

    Everyone is so funny today…the snot just keeps on coming.
    “I happily awaited the moment when the chef would sprinkle sugar on my head and blow torch it, creating a sweet, crystalline crust.”
    I’m assuming you’re talking about Philosophy? I use their Amazing Grace lotion and purposely bump into strange men hoping they’ll notice I smell like an angel and start treating me like one.
    And by stranger I mean my husband, yeah, him.

  5. autumnlight Says:

    “Sproing” caught my eye. I’m looking for the origin of the expression “sproing phenork.” A female friend of mine used that expression. I think it means to simultaneously spring forward and backward. What do you think?

  6. autumnlight Says:

    Thanks for the reply, Mymsie. Yeah, a Balderdash word works. I thought of whiplash, for some reason, like a “HUH?!!” on steroids.

    There’s the Bill Cosby story about his pastor changing the words in the hymn from “forever more” to “forever now.” “I almost broke my neck,” he relates, “trying to keep up!” Truly a sproing phenork moment for young William. 😮

    Ciao

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