Progress

I don’t blog much about politics, although I’m guessing most readers have a pretty good idea where I fall on the spectrum. But yesterday I read something that is so incredible, I had to share it here because I think regardless of how you feel about the outcome of the election, it’s news to celebrate:

Thanks to a surge of both female and minority candidates, white men will no longer constitute the majority of the Democratic House caucus. –BBC

So inspiring!

And a bit o’ gratitude → When I was swimming laps this afternoon, I happened to be in the lane closest to a wall of windows. It was gloriously sunny out so sunshine was pouring into my lane, dappling the water and penetrating its depths. It was SO lovely that I wished I had an underwater camera to capture it. Then I got to thinking about how odd the lifeguards would think it was for me to take pictures in the lap pool. Then that thought led to another and before I knew it, I’d swum 50 laps! I have to tell you that my swimming time is so precious to me. I always feel so much more calm and centered afterward.

Do Me, Baby?

A local radio station played 90s hits all morning, which I loved especially since I came of age during that golden era. I was shocked at how completely disparate the songs were. How can Bell Biv DeVoe’s Do Me! belong to the same decade as Weezer’s Undone – The Sweater Song?? I remember loving both songs, one being more representative of middle school and the other of heading off to college. I could not get over how scandalous the lyrics to Do Me! are.

Backstage, under age, adolescent
How ya doin?
“Fine,” she replied
I sighed, “I like to do the wild thing!”
Action took place
Hey, kinda wet
Come on, don’t forget
The J, the I, the M, the M, the Y, y’all
I need a body bag

That is horrifically awful! And yet at the time, I was so far from sexually active that they were just meaningless words to me.

It was also pleasant to be reminded of Swatches, which are mentioned in Do Me! I had several and loved them all. The last one I had got stolen at a party my senior year. Two friends of mine were trying to throw me in a pool but were kind enough to take it off first. Thankfully, they had mercy and didn’t actually throw me in the water but I never saw my Swatch again. Mem’ries!

By the time I discovered Weezer, I was much more maudlin and therefore appreciated their equally ridiculous lyrics:

I’m me
Me be
Goddamn
I am
I can
Sing and
Hear me
Know me

If you want to destroy my sweater,
Hold this thread as I walk away

What exactly that means is beyond me but it sounded tortured and bizarre, so I loved it.

In other news, my preferred exercise has flip-flopped. Last year, I mostly swam laps. I would occasionally walk on the treadmill but hated every minute of it, as it was awfully uncomfortable hauling around that much weight. Nowadays, I find that I vastly prefer walking and dread swimming laps. I’m making myself do it once a week but I take walks otherwise. I love being outside and I especially love getting to listen to music while I walk. I turn inward and reflect and process and mull – good for my bod and my soul!

Or Is It Cheese & Macaroni?

Tonight for dinner, I made the healthy choice to have Kraft Macaroni & Cheese made with 50% whole grain. I know it’s ridiculous to be persnickety about the grain in your pasta whilst finding no problem coating it in a cheese-like goo made from orange powder and yet I felt pleased with the compromise.

The kids summer camps at my gym have all finished so my swimming environment is once again quiet and peaceful. I was not afforded that tranquility the other night when a woman sat near the treadmill I was walking on and ate Taco Bell and slurped Dr. Pepper. Now I’m not a gym etiquette Nazi or anything, although I do think it’s common courtesy to quickly wipe down a machine when you’re finished using it and please try not to pee in the shower. But this? Consuming fast food mere paces from someone who’s miraculously overcome her natural instinct to nap and is trying desperately to burn some calories? COME ON.

Here’s what I’m loving this week:

This amazing design a blogger painted on her floor:

The idea of living in one of these houseboats:

This awesome Sears shoe ad from the 60s:

This tute for block printing on fabric – so pretty!

This half-moon mani I’m dying to try:

These sweet vintage barrettes:

Beautiful Adele:

Movin’ Along

I can’t believe it’s almost July! Summers always seem to fly by but June has been especially busy with the MOM (Month of Movement) challenge. We’re talking about making it a SOM: Summer of Movement and keeping up the momentum through July and August. It’s a bit daunting but the rewards are so worth it! Even though it can be difficult to fit in a work out every day, I feel great physically and mentally and have a new awareness of my body and how I spend my time. Each day we log our activity in a Facebook group. I love sharing my experiences and reading about everyone’s ups and downs. There have been several times when I’ve felt lazy but the thought of the group has encouraged me to push onward. Some of us are exercising every day and others have different schedules, depending on whatever commitment they want to make. You’re welcome to join us any time; we’d love to have you! Drop me an e-mail and I’ll add you to our group. mymsie [at] gmail [dot] com

Edited to add my MOM entry for today:

• Day of the month: 21st
• Laps I swam: 50
• Seconds I flashed my boob to 2 lifeguards before realizing what was happening: 5
• Knowledge that my suit top no longer provides proper support: PRICELESS

Several of you asked about Abby so I thought I’d give you an update. After The Great Urine Collecting Incident of 2011, the vet said all the tests came back negative. I’d kept her urine in the fridge for a day (at the vet’s suggestion) before I could bring it in and was afraid that tainted the results. I collected another sample and took it to the vet immediately. The test showed she did have an infection, poor bippy, so I got meds for her. She’s doing better now. The arthritis has definitely slowed her down but she still seems happy. We go for regular walks and she usually gets frisky and runs a little each time. We’re still locked in a tense battle over the bathroom floor. Because it’s cool, Abby sleeps in there during the day but the slippery tile makes it difficult for her to get up. I’ve put down mats and rugs to give her traction but she continues to snarf them out of the way, preferring to sleep on just the tile. My stubborn girl!

Over the weekend, Moxy and I had a lovely date with B. A client gave him a gift card to beef mecca, Ruth’s Chris Steak House. He also scored tickets to see the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra perform Beethoven’s 9th, so we all got dolled up and made a night of it. None of us are big red meat eaters but the restaurant had plenty of other options. I had the sea bass, which was very yummy, with its lucious buttery, garlic-y Panko-topping. The service bordered on obsequious but we all understood that some people might complain if there wasn’t enough fawning.

After dinner, we walked to the nearby symphony. It was raining and Moxy and I were wearing dress shoes, so we couldn’t walk very quickly. B was cruising along in front of us and at one point looked back and said “This way bitches!” We often speak to one another in ridiculous superlatives so Moxy and I didn’t bat an eyelash but a guy walking past heard B and looked at him like he was the king of Indianapolis. Hee! 🙂

The symphony was wonderful and lovely, especially when the chorus joined for the Ode to Joy. Moxy and I also had a ball people watching the whole night. At dinner, we were seated beside an older gentleman with an attractive, MUCH-younger woman, who we ultimately decided was an escort. We were close enough to them to eavesdrop and carefully observe their body language. (Stalker alert!) Then we got into a debate about the industry of paid companionship. B was more sympathetic than Moxy and I, giving his standard “Look at the origin of the behavior” speech. What do you think?

Maybe if I blogged more often, my posts wouldn’t be so long, huh? More soon!

Because We’re Insane

MOM: Month of Movement

There’s a bit of a back story, which I’ll explain soon but I wanted to pop in and let you know that Moxy and I made a pledge to exercise every day in June. Along the way, we’ll share our deep thoughts & struggles. Please join in or follow our progress. If you’re interested, send me an e-mail mymsie [at] gmail [dot] com and I’ll invite you to our Facebook group. Everyone is welcome & we’d love to have your support!

Booted Up

I was excited for today’s snowfall so I’d finally have a chance to wear my sassy new snow boots. (Update: Looks like they’re sold out. See pic here.) I got them for 40%-off because I’m a sale-stalking rock star. They’re not quite broken in yet but they’re so warm and cozy. Bring it, winter – I’m ready!

New Year’s resolutions mean it’s been busy the last few times I’ve been to the pool but last night my lap lane was like rush hour in Manhattan. At various points, I shared a lane with 2 different people, each of whom I accidentally breast-stroke kicked at least once. We were  flanked by swimming lessons and a water aerobics class, making for choppy waters and wavering lane lines, which I (mostly) successfully navigated. When I got out of the pool, I felt like I should’ve been awarded some sort of High Seas Swimming Simulation medal but was only met with chilly air and a revolting hairball in the locker room shower drain.

Last weekend in another sale-stalking frenzy, Moxy and I went to Kohl’s armed with a killer coupon. I got several frames, which I brought home and carefully Windexed. Then I cropped my precious pictures and positioned them in the frames. About that time I realized that none of the frames had a hanging mechanism or even a smidge of overlap to catch on a nail. I can’t really return them so I’m stuck trying to figure out how to hang the little buggers. I rigged a crude method involving 2 nails and a bit of string, which worked but the nails and string showed, looking rather ridiculous and outwardly mocking the validity of my college education. Any suggestions?

My feet are very ticklish so I don’t know if I could use this but for some reason, I find it mesmerizing. “It’s like a car wash for your feet!” I especially love the guy in the shower sniffing his stinky shoe. Who hasn’t been there? 😉

Turns Out I Rested on the 11th Day, Too

But that doesn’t mean I’m not posting! *Looks around nervously in case The Blog Police bugged my apartment.*

I had Veterans Day off of work and thoroughly enjoyed it. The bulk of what I’ve done today can’t really be quantified, what with the napping and all but I did manage to do some cleaning and I’m heading to water aerobics soon. I normally don’t like going on Thursdays because the teacher doesn’t do a ton of heart-pumping exercise. It’s mostly strength training and stretching, which is important but not nearly as fun and the class goes by more slowly. Plus one time, I was the only person in the class and it was extremely nerve-wracking to have the instructor’s full attention. I spent the hour fretting about my form and breathing patterns, lest I be chastised. The instructor is actually really nice but she did call me out once about something. It wasn’t a big deal but I was humiliated nonetheless, especially given the courage it takes for me to parade around in a bathing suit. We were doing this exercise:

…except trust me when I say that I did not look like that lady. Anyway apparently my elbows were splayed too far apart so the teacher swam over and corrected me. I’m glad she did because I don’t want to do the exercise wrong but again, having the whole class watch me struggling with a simple maneuver was not good for my self esteem. But since then, you better believe I’ve done those overhead tricep extensions perfectly and can actually tell a difference in my arms.

On Notice: Part 1

You’re no doubt completely bored of hearing about my attempts to go from pathetically out of shape to moderately out of shape and yet when I’m compelled to write, I cannot squelch the desire. So strong it was, I nearly leapt out of the pool last night to rush home and blog. You see, during a shallow water aerobics class…well first allow me to note that I finally mastered doing cross-country skier legs with jumping jack arms. I manage just fine with jumping jack arms and legs OR cross-country skier arms and legs but when the twain meet, I find myself gyrating like an oil-coated walrus. I’m sure many of you would have no trouble with such a trivial task but as I was recently contacted by descendants of George Merriam and Noah Webster to ask if my picture might be included in the dictionary next to “uncoordinated,” I’m very pleased with this modest development. Unfortunately my joy was short-lived because the instructor found it necessary to discuss food for more than half the class and no, I’m not joking. While she pined over M&Ms and white-chocolate Kit Kats, one wisp of a lady in the front row who I can declare with certainty has NO body fat and in an even crueler twist of fate, works at a local chocolaterie, blithely remarked that she doesn’t like icing. I suspect she also finds mascarpone to be too rich and is still full from the half a PowerBar she had for breakfast. And so if I could, I might ask her to give silent thanks for the nature and nurture that made her so and have mercy on those of us who require a Xanax at the mere thought of staying under 3000 calories/day.

ca-COUGH-ony

Photo by Rachel Ford James / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Oh hai. *cough* What’s that? *hack* You can’t hear me over all the coughing? *lung expulsion* Well it’s no picnic on this end either. (TWSS) I don’t know if it’s all the cottonwood fluff floating around or what but I’ve been coughing since last Friday and my exhalations sounds like a coffeemaker’s wheezy sputtering. I haven’t used my inhaler this much since I had pneumonia in college. I’ve tried over-the-counter everything so I just made an appointment with my doctor. In the meantime, being near me is like hanging out in a tuberculosis ward.

The gym continues to be a constant source of entertainment. Last night, a nasty storm forced us to evacuate the outdoor pool so we went to the indoor pool instead. After about a half-an-hour, the power went off with a frightening THUNK. It was a little freaky but also sparked my inner trouble-maker. I had an overwhelming compulsion to do something naughty so I started checking random closet doors to see if they were unlocked. I didn’t have a plan for what I’d do if one was and it’s not like I would’ve discovered something crazy like an army of life-size Gummi Bears (sorry, I just watched the California Gurls video) but I couldn’t resist the urge to try. In the end, I couldn’t think of anything clandestine or exciting but am open to ideas for the next outage.

The upside of a gym black-out is the merciful cessation of my overdrive OCD tendencies. You see, being in a locker room is very stressful for me. There’s something about the combination of rogue hair and wet floors that makes my skin crawl. In fact, I sometimes have nightmares about having to walk barefoot across a wet, hairy shower floor with gnarly, fetid, standing water and OHMYGOD, just typing this is killing me! And don’t forget the random dirty underwear left on top of the lockers, stray trails of used toilet paper, and the weird crustacean-like booger on the soap dispenser in shower stall 2. But when the lights were out, I couldn’t see a thing and therefore didn’t spend the entire time tense and agonizing, afraid of catching 10 different strains of cooties. It was so wonderful to shower and dress in the damp darkness, completely unaware of the cesspool below. Sadly I’m sure the power has been restored but I’ll always remember the fleeting day my neurosis was kept at bay.

P.S. Really the locker room at the gym I’ve been going to is relatively clean. I’m making it sound terrible because I have a thing but overall, it’s not a horrible place to change.

P.P.S. What is with boys wearing underwear under their swim trunks? Also, Guy in the Purple Speedo? COME ON!!

“Eyes Like Potatoes”

Last night at water aerobics, I heard a blast from the past, La Isla Bonita, on the radio. It reminded me that when I was younger, I thought the lyrics “A young girl with eyes like the desert” (:36) were instead “A young girl with eyes like potatoes.” It never made sense to me but it didn’t matter because I loved Madonna and if she wanted to sing about tubers, by God she could.

The class was fun and I was soooo happy to be back in the water. Next time I’m bringing my goggles so I can swim laps. I have two pair and strangely enough, B & I used them recently for a very juvenile non-water prank. Unfortunately, we couldn’t keep our composure and pretty much ruined the joke, except for the hilarity involved with us wearing goggles at a restaurant.

This afternoon over IM, I tried to teach my Dad how to type a tilde (~). My instructions were so confusing, I nearly peed my pants from laughing. Finally he just said, “I had better stick with my more limited keys.” Ha!